Have you moved for love?

by gone Thu Apr 18, 2013 10:59 am

Have you ever quit your job, packed up all your belongings, and moved for the one you love? If so, are you a woman who moved for a man. Or a man who moved for a woman?

How far did you move? Across the country or just an hour away? How drastic was the move? NYC to Podunk town, USA? One large city to another large city? International move?

Finally, was the move worth it or do you regret it? Were you able to adjust to the new place, find a job, and did the relationship or marriage survive the move, or did you break up after moving because the stress of the move was too much for the relationship/marriage to survive?

by Guest Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:08 am

Yeah. I packed my bags and moved to the US for good. It was for love, but I was itching to leave my village anyway. I would have moved anywhere for that love. I would have even stayed back in the same village for the same love. Reason? Coz I thought my real life would start only after my marriage/move. Parents may not have let me go out by myself anywhere, at that state and age. I was too precious or something.

Smaller move was from ny to nj.

Love survived. Marriage didn't. No regrets. Will I move again for love? Not sure. Depends on overall prospects for the kids.

by Bittu Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:08 am

mainstreet wrote: If so, are you a woman who moved for a man. Or a man who moved for a woman?

LOL pancho why's this even a question? It's always the needy-whiny-idiotic woman who moves for the man. And then regrets it. and whines some more. No, a LOT more.

HTFH but I doubt it.

by gone Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:22 am

Personally, have moved twice for a man (different men). First time, very young and naive. Met a guy in a small city, was in a relationship for a year, he got a better job in a large city about 300 miles away, so broke my lease by paying the penalty, gave two weeks notice, and followed him there. Found a job and apartment but mutually broke up six months after moving. Had no friends in this new large city, except ex's friends and their girlfriends (I had no interest in continuing to hang out with them).

In hindsight, the breakup was good for me. Suddenly had to make decisions I had never made before. Should I break my lease and quit my job again to go back to the old small city where all my friends were? Finally, decided to stay for six more months until my lease was up. In those six months, I made so many new friends in the new large city that I didn't feel the need to move back to small old city. Also, in spite of a few initial hiccups career-wise (new job didn't last very long but I found a better job soon after), made a lot of progress career-wise in new city.

After that experience, I decided I was never going to move for a man without a ring on my finger and a marriage certificate.

Moved again for love. This time for husband's career. This move has been really tough. Had to sell my house (I bought it before marrying DH), had to move from a city to a small town.

Finally, have decided that I will not move ever again for any man, husband or not. If I do, it'll be to a city that I know for a fact that I'll enjoy living in, but never again to a small town. I trust my gut instinct too much to ignore it.

by gone Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:30 am

It's not always the woman who moves for the man. While people are young and in their twenties, careers are not established, houses have not been bought, parents don't need caregivers...so both men and women move for each other.

When you get in the thirties and beyond, I've noticed men move for just one reason that is new job, career advancement, better financial prospects. The women, however, continue to move for love or to be near their parents.

by southindian Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:39 am

mainstreet wrote:Have you ever quit your job, packed up all your belongings, and moved for the one you love? If so, are you a woman who moved for a man. Or a man who moved for a woman?

How far did you move? Across the country or just an hour away? How drastic was the move? NYC to Podunk town, USA? One large city to another large city? International move?

Finally, was the move worth it or do you regret it? Were you able to adjust to the new place, find a job, and did the relationship or marriage survive the move, or did you break up after moving because the stress of the move was too much for the relationship/marriage to survive?

Sir, thanks for coming again in this new avatar.

Keep going...

by gone Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:42 am

by Guest Thu Apr 18, 2013 11:55 am

My ex bil moved for his then gf-wife. Three times. Well the first move made sense coz until then he was living with us. They moved near her college (which btw he paid for while she didn't even work part time), he sucked up his bad commute for over a year. Once she graduated, they moved near the city for his sake, for a better commute for him and better job opportunities for her. But she found a job 2 hours away in the neighboring state, so they moved so as to let both of them have a one-hour commute each. Then he found a job near her place, coz she insisted, they both moved to near her place. They rented the apartment of her choice even though he hated every bit of that apartment and that town. Two months after that last move, she left him, coincidentally one day after her h1 was filed . She had been having an affair with her new colleague. He did make her pay half of all the broken leases.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:00 pm

southindian wrote:
mainstreet wrote:Have you ever quit your job, packed up all your belongings, and moved for the one you love? If so, are you a woman who moved for a man. Or a man who moved for a woman?

How far did you move? Across the country or just an hour away? How drastic was the move? NYC to Podunk town, USA? One large city to another large city? International move?

Finally, was the move worth it or do you regret it? Were you able to adjust to the new place, find a job, and did the relationship or marriage survive the move, or did you break up after moving because the stress of the move was too much for the relationship/marriage to survive?

Sir, thanks for coming again in this new avatar.

Keep going...

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:01 pm

mainstreet wrote:Personally, have moved twice for a man (different men). First time, very young and naive. Met a guy in a small city, was in a relationship for a year, he got a better job in a large city about 300 miles away, so broke my lease by paying the penalty, gave two weeks notice, and followed him there. Found a job and apartment but mutually broke up six months after moving. Had no friends in this new large city, except ex's friends and their girlfriends (I had no interest in continuing to hang out with them).

In hindsight, the breakup was good for me. Suddenly had to make decisions I had never made before. Should I break my lease and quit my job again to go back to the old small city where all my friends were? Finally, decided to stay for six more months until my lease was up. In those six months, I made so many new friends in the new large city that I didn't feel the need to move back to small old city. Also, in spite of a few initial hiccups career-wise (new job didn't last very long but I found a better job soon after), made a lot of progress career-wise in new city.

After that experience, I decided I was never going to move for a man without a ring on my finger and a marriage certificate.

Moved again for love. This time for husband's career. This move has been really tough. Had to sell my house (I bought it before marrying DH), had to move from a city to a small town.

Finally, have decided that I will not move ever again for any man, husband or not. If I do, it'll be to a city that I know for a fact that I'll enjoy living in, but never again to a small town. I trust my gut instinct too much to ignore it.

You did it once already.. So whats the biggie...

Could you please move once again so we can get on with our world affairs?

by gone Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:16 pm

My sister has never had much of a career. She has two kids. She has moved to some really nice places for her husband. They've lived near NYC, in London, in Hong Kong, and in Sau Paulo (Brazil). She'll go anywhere with him. The really ironic thing: she is so busy raising her kids that she doesn't care where she lives.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:19 pm

mainstreet wrote:My sister has never had much of a career. She has two kids. She has moved to some really nice places for her husband. They've lived near NYC, in London, in Hong Kong, and in Sau Paulo (Brazil). She'll go anywhere with him. The really ironic thing: she is so busy raising her kids that she doesn't care where she lives.

There...right there..is the solution for you.

by Guest Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:20 pm

An unhappy mother cannot raise happy kids.

by Jeremiah Mburuburu Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:22 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:I thought my real life would start only after my marriage...

you must be a northindian female.

by gone Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:27 pm

On the other hand, my cousin moved to Boston for college and her high school boyfriend followed her. She moved to NYC for her first job and he followed her again. She moved to Philly for grad school and he followed her again. She dumped him for one of the classmates in grad school. They both moved to NYC after both were done with grad school. They got engaged. Then they broke off the engagement. She bought a condo outright (no mortgage). She lost her job during the financial crisis. She started dating an attorney in DC. She moved in with attorney in DC (she did not sell her NYC condo). She hated DC (claimed it was too small for her). She moved back to NYC. Right now, she's unemployed (but she made enough when things were good on Wall Street that she can live comfortably all her life), and dating a guy in NYC who is ten years younger than her.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:29 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:An unhappy mother cannot raise happy kids.

Load of BS. Happiness is what you define and you feel happy and accomplish, and also, you accomplish and feel happy.

Important question: Is your hoojband happy ?

by gone Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:31 pm

Why would you ask a divorced woman if her husband is happy? That's just rude.

by Guest Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:31 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:An unhappy mother cannot raise happy kids.

Load of BS. Happiness is what you define and you feel happy and accomplish, and also, you accomplish and feel happy.

Important question: Is your hoojband happy ?

I don't have one.

by gone Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:37 pm

Trust me, not everyone can bloom where they're planted. Some people are happy wherever they are. Some people, especially if they've experienced better and have the option to return to better, are not going to adjust to worse...or even if they are being forced to adjust, they won't be happy about it.

You can tell a lot about a person by who his or her friends are. I need to be around people who are more educated, worldly, sophisticated, stimulating. My husband's friends are his patients...he wants to help them. Like I said, medicine is a calling.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Apr 18, 2013 12:40 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:An unhappy mother cannot raise happy kids.

Load of BS. Happiness is what you define and you feel happy and accomplish, and also, you accomplish and feel happy.

Important question: Is your hoojband happy ?

I don't have one.

Wrong person. I thought it was posed by the mainstreet and asking "her"

by Impedimenta Thu Apr 18, 2013 1:59 pm

err? Zoo keeper, Zoo keeper, where art thou? some inmates have escaped, it seems

by Nila Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:11 pm

Yes. I did once for myself. I love myself and none else. Nope, no regrets.

by gone Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:14 pm

Great reply, Nila! I love myself too, so planning on moving for myself soon! Got to continue packing!!

by Nila Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:17 pm

mainstreet wrote:Great reply, Nila! I love myself too, so planning on moving for myself soon! Got to continue packing!!

Yes. If you are not happy none can make you happy. Happy moving!

by Propagandhi711 Thu Apr 18, 2013 2:41 pm

me and my footlonger ladypleaser are willing to move anywhere anytime for the right moneybags sugar mommy of sexy proportions and that isnt too long in the tooth and droopy in the rear.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Apr 18, 2013 3:12 pm

Nila wrote:Yes. I did once for myself. I love myself and none else. Nope, no regrets.

Note to self: Bookmark this post.

by Nila Thu Apr 18, 2013 3:18 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Nila wrote:Yes. I did once for myself. I love myself and none else. Nope, no regrets.

Note to self: Bookmark this post.

May I ask why take notes?

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