Is sex important enough not to wait?

by Rishi Sun May 05, 2013 10:23 pm

http://www.salon.com/2013/05/06/my_virginity_mistake/
Six months into our marriage, the idea of separating seemed more appealing than feigning headaches for the rest of my life.
Had
we had sex before our relationship transitioned into a contract, I
would have known that there was no passion, no spark, nothing happening
between our bodies. I would never have agreed to marry him because sex
is a significant part of a relationship and therefore a significant part
of our relationship was failing. With the failure of our sex life, I
felt like less of a woman, no longer a sexual creature but more of a
plant. Sitting there, day in, day out, wilting while I waited for
someone to take care of me.
Without having sex before marriage, I
blindly walked up an aisle and committed myself to a man who didn’t know
me and gave my long-held virginity to someone with whom I had no more
chemistry than a second cousin.
Soon after our divorce, he got
remarried to someone who suits him better than I ever could have. And
years later, I can confirm that I am not that woman who has no interest
in sex. I don’t quilt. I haven’t compiled a grocery list in bed in
years, and I now know that sex can be amazing … with a bartender who
only knows your first name, a pilot you meet on vacation in Costa Rica
and yes, with the right guy – sex in a marriage can be beautiful. The
key is to figure that out before you find yourself walking down an aisle
in a dress that costs more than the family car (my mother has since
reminded me). It isn’t the most important thing when it comes to love.
But for me, I learned that sex is important enough not to wait.

by seven Sun May 05, 2013 10:44 pm

It isn’t the most important thing when it comes to love.
But for me, I learned that sex is important enough not to wait.

there's your answer. for some - its important.

i personally dont think you have to have sex to know if there will be sparks chemistry etc or not. having sex before marriage certainly helps with being doubly sure but its not the only way to find out if he or she is the one.

by Guest Sun May 05, 2013 11:02 pm

Sex is important, but it doesn't mean much actually, when it comes to relationships. And like marriage, sometimes you can also work on making it better, if you are interested enough. Is just a matter of discovering what ticks for you and your partner.

When it comes to chemistry and charisma in a relationship, it's no fix science. You could be having one year full of wild sex with someone you don't emotionally connect to, but you can't even dream of spending your life with him/her, and once it's over, it would be hard even to remember what was it about. Usually, the memory gives you back nothing. Depending on who you are, you may or may not like this. For me, it's meaningless. At the same time, you could have spent very few cherishing moments with someone which might not always be sexual, and you would always always pine for that person, and think about him or her, and want to spend the rest of your life with him or her. Now that's what I go for.

So my answer is, those bartenders, pilots, mean nothing. Better save your breath (and health) on those. What is worth waiting is the right person. And the lesser ruined you are, the better chances you have to make that relationship magical.

by garam_kuta Sun May 05, 2013 11:30 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:Sex is important, but it doesn't mean much actually, when it comes to relationships. And like marriage, sometimes you can also work on making it better, if you are interested enough. Is just a matter of discovering what ticks for you and your partner.

When it comes to chemistry and charisma in a relationship, it's no fix science. You could be having one year full of wild sex with someone you don't emotionally connect to, but you can't even dream of spending your life with him/her, and once it's over, it would be hard even to remember what was it about. Usually, the memory gives you back nothing. Depending on who you are, you may or may not like this. For me, it's meaningless. At the same time, you could have spent very few cherishing moments with someone which might not always be sexual, and you would always always pine for that person, and think about him or her, and want to spend the rest of your life with him or her. Now that's what I go for.

So my answer is, those bartenders, pilots, mean nothing. Better save your breath (and health) on those. What is worth waiting is the right person. And the lesser ruined you are, the better chances you have to make that relationship magical.

for the n th time, I think harry met sally got it right- it is like gravity, you have to accept it, whether you like it or it not.
and of course, it depends on your age. perhaps during and after early 50s for women, and late 50s to early 60s for men, they may value it less.

Is sex important enough not to wait?

Is sex important enough not to wait?

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