life feels...

by Guest Mon May 06, 2013 11:48 pm

...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Tue May 07, 2013 12:01 am

Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 8:40 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning. Sad

by southindian Tue May 07, 2013 8:45 am

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Spend MORE time with kids, than here.

It will help in real life...outside the computer.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 8:51 am

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Ayyayyo!! No wonder you weren't home until late at night. We waited for you almost up to 10. How is he now? I hope he's doing fine. One after the other....sigh! Stay strong!

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 8:59 am

southindian wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Spend MORE time with kids, than here.

It will help in real life...outside the computer.

She was working on her job related stuff at that time. Read again! What do you know about her to make such comments? She is raising the kids all by herself and working hard to put food on the table. Sometimes she's so overwhelmed by it. SuCh is a sort of relief/release for her. You want to deny her that too? She is doing much better than most of us here, least bit ppl like you who are so judgmental and make such stupid comments.

by MaxEntropy_Man Tue May 07, 2013 9:03 am

southindian wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Spend MORE time with kids, than here.

please have your head examined pronto.

It will help in real life...outside the computer.

by MaxEntropy_Man Tue May 07, 2013 9:05 am

souTHie please have your head examined pronto.

by southindian Tue May 07, 2013 9:14 am

kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Spend MORE time with kids, than here.

It will help in real life...outside the computer.

She was working on her job related stuff at that time. Read again! What do you know about her to make such comments? She is raising the kids all by herself and working hard to put food on the table. Sometimes she's so overwhelmed by it. SuCh is a sort of relief/release for her. You want to deny her that too? She is doing much better than most of us here, least bit ppl like you who are so judgmental and make such stupid comments.

Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 9:22 am

southindian wrote:
kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Spend MORE time with kids, than here.

It will help in real life...outside the computer.

She was working on her job related stuff at that time. Read again! What do you know about her to make such comments? She is raising the kids all by herself and working hard to put food on the table. Sometimes she's so overwhelmed by it. SuCh is a sort of relief/release for her. You want to deny her that too? She is doing much better than most of us here, least bit ppl like you who are so judgmental and make such stupid comments.

Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.

ok...single or not, none of us should be here. We are all better off not wasting our time here and spending that time with our kids. Get off the computer and go be around with your kids, southie. Don't waste your time here.

by southindian Tue May 07, 2013 9:28 am

kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:
kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Spend MORE time with kids, than here.

It will help in real life...outside the computer.

She was working on her job related stuff at that time. Read again! What do you know about her to make such comments? She is raising the kids all by herself and working hard to put food on the table. Sometimes she's so overwhelmed by it. SuCh is a sort of relief/release for her. You want to deny her that too? She is doing much better than most of us here, least bit ppl like you who are so judgmental and make such stupid comments.

Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.

ok...single or not, none of us should be here. We are all better off not wasting our time here and spending that time with our kids. Get off the computer and go be around with your kids, southie. Don't waste your time here.

That's true. Well said.

Why just me...I would recommend this to everyone. life feels... 459784477

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 9:30 am

southindian wrote:
kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:
kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:

Spend MORE time with kids, than here.

It will help in real life...outside the computer.

She was working on her job related stuff at that time. Read again! What do you know about her to make such comments? She is raising the kids all by herself and working hard to put food on the table. Sometimes she's so overwhelmed by it. SuCh is a sort of relief/release for her. You want to deny her that too? She is doing much better than most of us here, least bit ppl like you who are so judgmental and make such stupid comments.

Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.

ok...single or not, none of us should be here. We are all better off not wasting our time here and spending that time with our kids. Get off the computer and go be around with your kids, southie. Don't waste your time here.

That's true. Well said.

Why just me...I would recommend this to everyone.

The preacher should act first.

by southindian Tue May 07, 2013 9:40 am

kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:
kinnera wrote:
southindian wrote:
kinnera wrote:

She was working on her job related stuff at that time. Read again! What do you know about her to make such comments? She is raising the kids all by herself and working hard to put food on the table. Sometimes she's so overwhelmed by it. SuCh is a sort of relief/release for her. You want to deny her that too? She is doing much better than most of us here, least bit ppl like you who are so judgmental and make such stupid comments.

Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.

ok...single or not, none of us should be here. We are all better off not wasting our time here and spending that time with our kids. Get off the computer and go be around with your kids, southie. Don't waste your time here.

That's true. Well said.

Why just me...I would recommend this to everyone.

The preacher should act first.

Sorry! I'm not preaching, I'm recommending.

One shoe doesn't fit all. Especially to the one fighting for time to raise kids all by herself.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 9:54 am

southindian wrote:I would recommend this to everyone.

CONTRADICTS

southindian wrote:One shoe doesn't fit all.

further,

southindian wrote:Especially to the one fighting for time to raise kids all by herself.

gives the impression that BECAUSE you are not a single parent, you have the license to troll on the net (which is yet another absurd recommendation). another example of your trolling: women who do not fight back in a rape situation should be considered worthless.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 9:56 am

southindian wrote:
kinnera wrote:

The preacher should act first.

Sorry! I'm not preaching, I'm recommending.

One shoe doesn't fit all. Especially to the one fighting for time to raise kids all by herself.

Yeah, 'Uchita Salaha'-free, unsolicited advice. There's no dearth of that in this world. Every tom, dick and harry considers himself qualified to give that.

anyway, thanks.

eod.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 10:41 am

The day can't get worse. Or who knows maybe it can. My aunt passed away earlier today, probably around the same time son got hit. The last remaining sibling of dad.

by Seva Lamberdar Tue May 07, 2013 10:50 am

Vidya,

Sorry to read about the passing away of your aunt. May she Rest In Peace. And my condolences to the family.

It really seems like a tough time for you. Your son got injured just a few days ago. I hope he gets well soon.

Good luck.

Seva

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 11:01 am

Vidya Bagchi wrote:The day can't get worse. Or who knows maybe it can. My aunt passed away earlier today, probably around the same time son got hit. The last remaining sibling of dad.

how is the kid now? any serious injury?

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 11:15 am

kinnera wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Ayyayyo!! No wonder you weren't home until late at night. We waited for you almost up to 10. How is he now? I hope he's doing fine. One after the other....sigh! Stay strong!

He is fine, went to school. It's me going through PTSD, lol. Was so crazy at work y'day that I was in half mind to ditch the game, but he loves it so much. So I went, and took work with me. Maybe I should have been more selfish, and not gone. He would have fussed, but would have been all right. For most times, I watch his game while walking nearby, or chatting on phone. Or if I sit in the car, I do so only when I could have a clear view of the field. Yesterday was the first time I took work with me, and was sitting in the second row of parking, where I could not see clearly. And then had to act all cool while the coach showed me his injury, while it was freaky. Son was like, 'Is it bad?' And I would be like, 'No no, it's nothing'. *sigh* Gotta hand it to him, he didn't cry much. So that was a relief in itself. And then he was goofing around in the hospital too, joking with the doctor and the nurse. They put a glue over his cut, so had to make him sleep with me, and be on an alert. Everytime I heard him moving, would get up with top speed, and hold his hand right away, so that he did not scratch the glue off. Also had to watch for signs of concussion. While driving in to work, sis texted me about aunt. Tried to call parents, but no one is taking the call there. Came to work late today, but is one of those days I should have taken off. Am listening in to a call while typing this. Talk about focus. Sad

Will try to get back into things after this. Catch u later, thanks for listening, and thanks Seva and HK.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 11:22 am

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
kinnera wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Ayyayyo!! No wonder you weren't home until late at night. We waited for you almost up to 10. How is he now? I hope he's doing fine. One after the other....sigh! Stay strong!

He is fine, went to school. It's me going through PTSD, lol. Was so crazy at work y'day that I was in half mind to ditch the game, but he loves it so much. So I went, and took work with me. Maybe I should have been more selfish, and not gone. He would have fussed, but would have been all right. For most times, I watch his game while walking nearby, or chatting on phone. Or if I sit in the car, I do so only when I could have a clear view of the field. Yesterday was the first time I took work with me, and was sitting in the second row of parking, where I could not see clearly. And then had to act all cool while the coach showed me his injury, while it was freaky. Son was like, 'Is it bad?' And I would be like, 'No no, it's nothing'. *sigh* Gotta hand it to him, he didn't cry much. So that was a relief in itself. And then he was goofing around in the hospital too, joking with the doctor and the nurse. They put a glue over his cut, so had to make him sleep with me, and be on an alert. Everytime I heard him moving, would get up with top speed, and hold his hand right away, so that he did not scratch the glue off. Also had to watch for signs of concussion. While driving in to work, sis texted me about aunt. Tried to call parents, but no one is taking the call there. Came to work late today, but is one of those days I should have taken off. Am listening in to a call while typing this. Talk about focus. Will try to get back into things after this. Catch u later, thanks for listening, and thanks Seva and HK.

good to hear the kid is in top shape! life is tough vids -- you got to tough it out. *hugs*

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Tue May 07, 2013 12:52 pm

southindian wrote:
Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.

In theory. In reality, not at all easy bcz half the time what you do depends on a second person, whose mistakes will make your task miserable.

Raising 2-3 kids and all fine. But, there is always a price to pay - and the person will pay through fatigue, burnout, depression, and dejection, and it cannot go on indefinitely.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 1:07 pm

we make a big deal about raising kids. specially about spending time with them. well, my parents never spent any time with me. yet, i am a survivor. or, change that. my younger siblings who suffered the same fate (if not worse) are the real survivors. the moral of the story is that as long as you provide food and shelter for your kids, your kids will raise themselves by themselves.

by Nila Tue May 07, 2013 1:27 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

What makes you think that if you were in the field you would've avoided the injury? Once out of the blue my DS was admitted into ICU and I felt miserable not for him but by seeing other kids around. He was given a wrong medication for a fever - it was prescribed by his doc and he started reacting to it very severely and was admitted in the hospital for over a week.

I still remember a kid next to him was lying with so many wires/tubes all around him and he didn’t move all those days. I don’t know what happened to him and it still creep me out.

Most of the time we feel miserable coz we set ourselves way too many inflated expectations. When I was a child a monkey bit me and I was saved with 12 stitches; not only that….having timing issues. If anyone dares making fun of my monkey bites…you sure are going to face it; beware.

by Jeremiah Mburuburu Tue May 07, 2013 1:31 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:...your kids will raise themselves by themselves.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 1:43 pm

Jeremiah Mburuburu wrote:
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:...your kids will raise themselves by themselves.

by Jeremiah Mburuburu Tue May 07, 2013 1:57 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:we make a big deal about raising kids. specially about spending time with them. well, my parents never spent any time with me. yet, i am a survivor. or, change that. my younger siblings who suffered the same fate (if not worse) are the real survivors. the moral of the story is that as long as you provide food and shelter for your kids, your kids will raise themselves by themselves.

thank you for that info. you are living evidence that if parents neglect their children, they are likely to turn out to be cheaters, violators of privacy, and wife-beaters.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 2:06 pm

Jeremiah Mburuburu wrote:
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:we make a big deal about raising kids. specially about spending time with them. well, my parents never spent any time with me. yet, i am a survivor. or, change that. my younger siblings who suffered the same fate (if not worse) are the real survivors. the moral of the story is that as long as you provide food and shelter for your kids, your kids will raise themselves by themselves.
thank you for that info. you are living evidence that if parents neglect their children, they are likely to turn out to be cheaters, violators of privacy, and wife-beaters.

how does any of that matter as long as the fact remains that i am still surviving (or have managed to survive). that is the eternal wish of every parent!

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 2:08 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
He is fine, went to school. It's me going through PTSD, lol. Was so crazy at work y'day that I was in half mind to ditch the game, but he loves it so much. So I went, and took work with me. Maybe I should have been more selfish, and not gone. He would have fussed, but would have been all right. For most times, I watch his game while walking nearby, or chatting on phone. Or if I sit in the car, I do so only when I could have a clear view of the field. Yesterday was the first time I took work with me, and was sitting in the second row of parking, where I could not see clearly. And then had to act all cool while the coach showed me his injury, while it was freaky. Son was like, 'Is it bad?' And I would be like, 'No no, it's nothing'. *sigh* Gotta hand it to him, he didn't cry much. So that was a relief in itself. And then he was goofing around in the hospital too, joking with the doctor and the nurse. They put a glue over his cut, so had to make him sleep with me, and be on an alert. Everytime I heard him moving, would get up with top speed, and hold his hand right away, so that he did not scratch the glue off. Also had to watch for signs of concussion. While driving in to work, sis texted me about aunt. Tried to call parents, but no one is taking the call there. Came to work late today, but is one of those days I should have taken off. Am listening in to a call while typing this. Talk about focus. Will try to get back into things after this. Catch u later, thanks for listening, and thanks Seva and HK.

He's a trooper! Smile

. Glad he is fine and went to school too. As Nila said, you not watching him has nothing to do with him getting injured. So, chill!
I'm sorry about your aunt passing away.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 2:25 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:we make a big deal about raising kids. specially about spending time with them. well, my parents never spent any time with me. yet, i am a survivor. or, change that. my younger siblings who suffered the same fate (if not worse) are the real survivors. the moral of the story is that as long as you provide food and shelter for your kids, your kids will raise themselves by themselves.

HK, You lived in a joint family setup, you had enough people around you. Here, it's just the 3 of us for most parts. Dad is fighting his own daemons elsewhere, and will be not be around (constantly) atleast another 2 years. Ya, I email him almost every other day, about every little thing going on with the kids, and they facetime 2-3 times a week, but still, that's not enough. My biggest challenge is having enough father figures around them. Good role models to look up to. Daughter is still older now, and has had a somewhat better childhood. Also, she finds her own way around, and by now has learned what lessons to pick from where. My worries for her are different. I need to make sure she doesn't grow up too bitter. I don't let her, or anyone else speak even smallest shyt against K. And luckily people respect me enough to not do that.

It's the younger one I worry about more. He is growing up with two girls and their [girl] friends. He probably knows more about hair, makeup, clothes, and moods, than many other boys upto 5 times his age. He talks to his sole-cousin for the guys stuff. That's my only concern for him. I try to make the kids meet as many older peeps in the family as possible, both men and women. Even I alone am not enough to set good examples. This is also the primary reason why I take him to these games, where he can interact with the coaches and other dads, or other players, same age and older, and imbibe some positive examples. Those settings are good, are not too personal, i.e. I can keep a watch from distance, and yet gives you a chance to do character building with positive examples, while playing a team-sport. Just last 2 Sundays, a desi dad unknowingly filled K's spot, when he along with the coach took to coaching son to be a good goalie and soccer player, and all jumped together in delight when he saved or made goals. They don't even know what a big part they are playing in raising him. Same with the baseball coach and parents, when they all cheer his name out loud. It may sound NBD to most of you, but to me, every little achievement counts, and it's worth the sweat. Will do everything to keep positives around them, and negatives away.

Nila, I could not have avoided the injury, but once the crisis was averted, and he was fine and went to bed, I came down with all sorts of traumatic thoughts and guilty feelings as I re-lived the evening in my thoughts. His injury wasn't critically serious, but graphically disturbing, and serious enough to be taken to the ER. I am hoping I have seen the end of it, and it doesn't reappear in the form of internal injuries later. I have gone through various injuries and setbacks growing up. But it's one thing to face things yourselves, and another to see your kids having them. Also, I have not had any injury like he got, so I had no prior experience to draw my strength from. I have a very very weak heart when it comes to kids. So while I keep a calm front during the crisis, when it's over, I take my own time to recover, like I am doing today. When in-charge alone, I don't cry. e.g. if K used to be there, and I knew he was co-handling the situation, those times, while I still kept calm, and interacted with doctors with full composure, I could not stop the tears, it's just impossible for me. Can't help it. I guess they are used to it too, many parents may be behaving like I do, coz they also continue talking with me normally.

by Impedimenta Tue May 07, 2013 2:51 pm

hope you feel emotionally better. here, flower

....not much but hey, smile :-)

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 3:02 pm

*hugs!*

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 3:12 pm

Lol. Thanks imps and kinns. Am feeling better. Smile

half a night and morning of crying. Talking it out with rents and blabbering here. *phew* lighter now. Back to work now. And then sleep.

by Nila Tue May 07, 2013 3:13 pm

Kids have more strength than we actually give credit for…I was taken by surprise when my DS was walking around with his abnormally high heart rate and with high temperature and freaky rashes and was consoling me with a smile. After that moment my worries and fear about him vanished and started worrying about other issues.

I told him that…”Hey, you are stronger than I thought!” He said…”I know Mom! I am awesome!!” (Thank God! And touch wood)

I agree that we are weak when it’s related to kids. Sometimes we draw our strengths from our kids and pretend to be stronger. No matter however stronger we are; still the shock and trauma will stay with us for many more days and it will absolutely take more time for us to heal. Though I remained fine, my coworkers were saying that they couldn’t see me smile for few months and I was always straight to the point and done with the work. Come to think of it, I was way too traumatized. Can’t help it, even though he recovers fast, it will take too much time for you to heal. Reality sucks. It is more painful for the Mom than the kid.
Draw your strength from your kids and try to be strong. A little copied quote for you...."Love is happiness and it shall be contagious; spread the love"

by Nila Tue May 07, 2013 3:55 pm

I am sharing a story which my cousin told me about her friend back in India. A long story but I am cutting it short. I am calling her friend as “Sandhya”.

Sandhaya was poisoned by her in-laws while she was preg and she delivered an abnormal baby. Docs told her that the baby cannot survive but after a long struggle the baby survived but with so many complications. Her hub left her and she had to survive on her own with little help from her friends and family. She was working as a teacher in a private school.

Sandhaya was always smiling and a very happy person and kept herself and her surroundings happy. When you think of her it reminds you her gigantic smile; which is so powerful and brings smile on everyone’s face.

She always remained the same irrespective of all those hurdles and being a single Mom she raised and still is raising her child. She failed the doctors who told her that her child can’t speak…the child sings great carnatic compositions and she also failed those docs who told her that he cannot walk. I think the child is lagging behind few grades, but I am very sure he will be a topper soon.

I didn’t believe my cousin and I had to verify her story and I was touched to see her and her child and she hasn’t changed a bit. The latest is that her H abandoned everything and is back with her. Well, seems like she is also forgiving.

If at all I plan to build a temple for a living person…it will be certainly for her. I would’ve died of multiple heart attacks and brain freezes if I were her.

Feels like an early Mother’s day at CH.

Geez…too much of emotional stuff and I am going out for a walk.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Tue May 07, 2013 4:17 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Jeremiah Mburuburu wrote:
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:we make a big deal about raising kids. specially about spending time with them. well, my parents never spent any time with me. yet, i am a survivor. or, change that. my younger siblings who suffered the same fate (if not worse) are the real survivors. the moral of the story is that as long as you provide food and shelter for your kids, your kids will raise themselves by themselves.
thank you for that info. you are living evidence that if parents neglect their children, they are likely to turn out to be cheaters, violators of privacy, and wife-beaters.
how does any of that matter as long as the fact remains that i am still surviving (or have managed to survive). that is the eternal wish of every parent!

You are comparing across generations

Pre-95 there was no net, net pron, MMS, txting, FBing, etc...

Kids played physical sports (mostly had friends with them, who you knew)

Kids came to you for anything and everything, and you came home at 7 PM.

Dad and Mom were not "out of town" most of the week

Now, kids have many distractions and come home after you sleep - if you are home. Unless YOU check on them, you may not talk to them for weeks. These kids, without parental interaction have more chances of not surviving.

by Bittu Tue May 07, 2013 4:39 pm

I read this whole thread, and then I just sat down and wept for a good ten minutes.

Feel better Vidya. *hugs*

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 4:52 pm

Bittu wrote:I read this whole thread, and then I just sat down and wept for a good ten minutes.

Feel better Vidya. *hugs*

Grrrrrr!! Hmph!! Jeez!! Aaargghhh! &%*#@$%^!, Evil or Very Mad

etc...

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 7:03 pm

Bittu wrote:I read this whole thread, and then I just sat down and wept for a good ten minutes.

Feel better Vidya. *hugs*

LOL. chalo, pal bhar ke liye koi humein pyar kar le, jhhootha hee sahi Razz

Thanks for reading thru my rona dhona twice in 20 hours. *hugs*

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 7:51 pm

Nila wrote:I am sharing a story which my cousin told me about her friend back in India. A long story but I am cutting it short. I am calling her friend as “Sandhya”.

Sandhaya was poisoned by her in-laws while she was preg and she delivered an abnormal baby. Docs told her that the baby cannot survive but after a long struggle the baby survived but with so many complications. Her hub left her and she had to survive on her own with little help from her friends and family. She was working as a teacher in a private school.

Sandhaya was always smiling and a very happy person and kept herself and her surroundings happy. When you think of her it reminds you her gigantic smile; which is so powerful and brings smile on everyone’s face.

She always remained the same irrespective of all those hurdles and being a single Mom she raised and still is raising her child. She failed the doctors who told her that her child can’t speak…the child sings great carnatic compositions and she also failed those docs who told her that he cannot walk. I think the child is lagging behind few grades, but I am very sure he will be a topper soon.

I didn’t believe my cousin and I had to verify her story and I was touched to see her and her child and she hasn’t changed a bit. The latest is that her H abandoned everything and is back with her. Well, seems like she is also forgiving.

If at all I plan to build a temple for a living person…it will be certainly for her. I would’ve died of multiple heart attacks and brain freezes if I were her.

Feels like an early Mother’s day at CH.

Geez…too much of emotional stuff and I am going out for a walk.

oh wow, saw this just now. nice story! Agree, I would have perished by now too.

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 11:30 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
HK, You lived in a joint family setup, you had enough people around you.

yes, i missed that point. in fact i had uncles playing the role of a father figure for me!

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
You are comparing across generations

Pre-95 there was no net, net pron, MMS, txting, FBing, etc...

Kids played physical sports (mostly had friends with them, who you knew)

Kids came to you for anything and everything, and you came home at 7 PM.

Dad and Mom were not "out of town" most of the week

Now, kids have many distractions and come home after you sleep - if you are home. Unless YOU check on them, you may not talk to them for weeks. These kids, without parental interaction have more chances of not surviving.

yes, points noted.

by Idéfix Tue May 07, 2013 11:38 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

looks like you will become as skinny as Trisha.

Had to take kid to the ER coz of a bad sports injury. Serves me right. I wasn't even on the field when it happened. Was sitting in my car working on my laptop, and talking on the phone. Other parents had to search me. Of late it's all been about rushing to work and working working working. Even on weekends. Not even waiting at the bus stops for 2 extra minutes in the rush to get to work. And now I been crying nonstop. Can't even get myself to get ready in the morning.

Sorry to hear this. I hope he is feeling better now.

by Idéfix Tue May 07, 2013 11:41 pm

southindian wrote:Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.

Vivek, it is fine to act superior to those around you. But in the end, if you cannot practice what you preach, what you preach sounds hollow.

by Idéfix Tue May 07, 2013 11:45 pm

Vidya Bagchi wrote:The day can't get worse. Or who knows maybe it can. My aunt passed away earlier today, probably around the same time son got hit. The last remaining sibling of dad.

Oh no, that is sad. I hope things turn around for you soon!

by Guest Tue May 07, 2013 11:49 pm

Idéfix wrote:
southindian wrote:Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.
Vivek, it is fine to act superior to those around you. But in the end, if you cannot practice what you preach, what you preach sounds hollow.

i agree. everything you recommend or preach should perchulate up to you too.

by Jeremiah Mburuburu Wed May 08, 2013 12:09 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Idéfix wrote:
southindian wrote:Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.
Vivek, it is fine to act superior to those around you. But in the end, if you cannot practice what you preach, what you preach sounds hollow.
i agree. everything you recommend or preach should perchulate up to you too.

by Guest Wed May 08, 2013 12:10 am

Jeremiah Mburuburu wrote:
Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Idéfix wrote:
southindian wrote:Nope! Not true.

We all have 24 hours in a day. Using it wisely helps, more so for the one raising kids all by herself.

There are many who work 2-3 jobs to raise kids and being around the kids than hour and a half here contributes in many ways.
Vivek, it is fine to act superior to those around you. But in the end, if you cannot practice what you preach, what you preach sounds hollow.
i agree. everything you recommend or preach should perchulate up to you too.

it is an in-jock. you won't get it forest officer.

by Kris Wed May 08, 2013 12:19 am

Vidya Bagchi wrote:...like an endless hurdles race. and you can't even stop running.

>>>>Sorry to hear about the events that have affected you of late. My suggestion is if you are religious/ spiritual, draw strength from that. An added technique would be to tell yourself things will get better as they definitely will. I know you have a lot of things on your plate, such as raising two children on your own and there is definitely heroism in that. With regard to that, stay close and connected to your children and things will work out okay. There is no need to stress over every single detail of getting parenthood 'right' - ain;t no such thing. When I get into some sort of a pickle, I have this habit of telling myself and sometimes even actually mouth the words ' you can tackle this, you are a solutions guy'. That sort of self-talk brings up memories of overcoming some problem in the past, which then puts you in a positive frame of mind. Another thing.. forums like this are a good thing where you can vent and brainstorm among friends and heck, even write a story or two Smile

that will provide catharsis. Go to it, Veeb, you can do it! Smile

by Guest Wed May 08, 2013 12:28 am

Kris wrote: Another thing.. forums like this are a good thing where you can vent and brainstorm among friends and heck, even write a story or two that will provide catharsis. Go to it, Veeb, you can do it!

+1. no matter how much people might rubbish online forums, i have, through my life, enjoyed sharing my life events here and even picked up tips on parenting.

by Kris Wed May 08, 2013 12:36 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:
Kris wrote: Another thing.. forums like this are a good thing where you can vent and brainstorm among friends and heck, even write a story or two that will provide catharsis. Go to it, Veeb, you can do it!
+1. no matter how much people might rubbish online forums, i have, through my life, enjoyed sharing my life events here and even picked up tips on parenting.

>>>Ditto for me. Sulekha was the first forum I interacted one-on-one with people and it proved to be cathartic in many ways.

by Idéfix Wed May 08, 2013 12:42 am

Kris wrote:My suggestion is if you are religious/ spiritual, draw strength from that. An added technique would be to tell yourself things will get better as they definitely will. I know you have a lot of things on your plate, such as raising two children on your own and there is definitely heroism in that. With regard to that, stay close and connected to your children and things will work out okay. There is no need to stress over every single detail of getting parenthood 'right' - ain;t no such thing. When I get into some sort of a pickle, I have this habit of telling myself and sometimes even actually mouth the words ' you can tackle this, you are a solutions guy'. That sort of self-talk brings up memories of overcoming some problem in the past, which then puts you in a positive frame of mind. Another thing.. forums like this are a good thing where you can vent and brainstorm among friends and heck, even write a story or two that will provide catharsis. Go to it, Veeb, you can do it!

Agree with everything you say!

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