what was it that attracted you to him/her when it did?

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:43 am

Arranged marriage or love marriage, there comes a point when you decide that I want him/her...

In my case, I was already liking him day by day, and knew he liked me too...and it [the liking] increased when we got to spend more time during college winter functions when we got to spend a lot of time together. Me just as a watcher, and him in the middle of all activities, and still taking out the time to come talk to me. Saw his abundant energy among other qualities and began respecting him even more.

But the tipping point came on the talent night when he sang a song on the stage. I came out after the song and he followed me outside. I had to wait for my friend to come out after the show to drop her back, and he actually missed his next song on stage to be with me. So we sat on our scooter/bike and began talking. On my request, he sang another song in the quietness of the night, leaving me mesmerised. And we sat talking as the night turned into 1994 and people came out after the party. 10 days later we were dating, and 4 years later we were married.

What was yours?

by Rekz Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:47 am

college romance...eh?
I thought u r married for 17years Smile

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:49 am

Rekz wrote:college romance...eh?
I thought u r married for 17years

no. known each other for 23 years now. began dating 17 years ago. completed 13 years of marriage.

by Hellsangel Thu Jun 30, 2011 10:55 am

What is with the walk down memory-lane?

by The Absolute Zero Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:03 am

Hellsangel wrote:What is with the walk down memory-lane?

The best/worst I can recall is one hellsangel chasing me down everywhere I went. cherry

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:03 am

Hellsangel wrote:What is with the walk down memory-lane?

am wfh in the 4th consecutive day of NO WORK. whaddaya expect? Besides, was hoping to read some other brief/long stories of similar kind from you all. sometimes, I guess it's good to go back and remind yourself how it all began. What was that one moment that changed your life.

by The Absolute Zero Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:09 am

Since you did not mention marriage, here it is...

First was her voice from back. It took me by surprise. When I turned back to see who it was, the eyes - so big and dazzling.

She walked out of that place after 3 years and I walked after 1+ years more. Never seen her again, but she is still lingering inside and with every kind of effort I cannot still get her out of mind.

Hope she is happy wherever she is.

(BTW with a few gestures, she never even noticed or gave a damn to my presence or personality Razz

and so I did not either make it further and on many other circumstances it ended how it started. But the people around us always knew how I was fond of her. She too knew it.)

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:14 am

TAZ, that was sweet. How about your wife? What was it that made you decide you wanted to marry her?

by Rekz Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:17 am

Ok let's do this in alphabetical order...after A zero...i see doofy online..

by The Absolute Zero Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:32 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:TAZ, that was sweet. How about your wife? What was it that made you decide you wanted to marry her?

Oh that? D.A.D.T (Do not ask do not tell) Embarassed

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:36 am

after A is B. *these ditzy fan girls*

i never wanted to get married. kept postponing indefintely. ultimately mom cried (i can't let mom cry). i had been left much impressed by my would-be-wife's grandfather's overtures (arranged marriage scenario). i decided i wanted his genes and values -- didn't care much for the girl. in the end everything worked out right except that my mom died 2 years after my marriage. no dowry. my wife was a gawking, gangly stick at the time of marriage. yeah, she looks kind of presentable now.

edit. oh yeah, i was the oldest among my siblings and had corresponding responsibilities on my shoulders.

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:43 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:after A is B. *these ditzy fan girls*

i never wanted to get married. kept postponing indefintely. ultimately mom cried (i can't let mom cry). i had been left much impressed by my would-be-wife's grandfather's overtures (arranged marriage scenario). i decided i wanted his genes and values -- didn't care much for the girl. in the end everything worked out right except that my mom died 2 years after my marriage. no dowry. my wife was a gawking, gangly stick at the time of marriage. yeah, she looks kind of presentable now.

am guessing the gene pool plan worked for you. Also, how old were the two of you then?

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:46 am

i was 28. she was 20/21. she appeared for her BA finals after marriage.

we cannot doctor the gene pool. my wife's grandfather is one of my role models, yes, but my wife inherited the dumbness genes passed down by her grandmother (whom i met only after marriage). and boy was she dumbbbbbbb. Sad

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:47 am

The Absolute Zero wrote:
Hellsangel wrote:What is with the walk down memory-lane?

The best/worst I can recall is one hellsangel chasing me down everywhere I went.

you are married to HA?!!!

by doofus_maximus Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:47 am

Me too was on the same boat as HK. My wife was too.

But my will was broken when I met my wife. Jaw dropped and I said I have to do something. Approached and talked to her hesitantly. We hit it off at our first meeting itself and never looked back. I still remember what she was wearing that day. She still criticizes that shirt I wore at the first meeting.

We kinda dated for a year and fortunately wife said yes to the knot.

Now it is almost 8 years..wow time flew.

by Propagandhi711 Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:53 am

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:i was 28. she was 20/21. she appeared for her BA finals after marriage.

we cannot doctor the gene pool. my wife's grandfather is one of my role models, yes, but my wife inherited the dumbness genes passed down by her grandmother (whom i met only after marriage). and boy was she dumbbbbbbb.

LOL...such honesty is refreshing

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:53 am

reminds me how my bff got married. she was into horoscopes big time, and her dad lost quite a few good suitors coz of this. When this boy came along, he did everything possible to make sure no patrika of his came in. (she still made one base on his dob).

Anyways, they are marwaris. She herself had done her mba, but it was rare to see anyone finish more than 2 years of bcom then. So she jumped at this boy having done his mba from xlri. she was sold.

The boy on the other hand was sick of all the dad's coming in dhoti kurta for a match for their girls. my bff's dad went in a suit. So the boy was sold too.

When they met, someone asked her to get makeup done in a new (for her) city, which turned out horrible. She liked him totally, but totally understood if he didn't. He didn't. But his mom convinced him that the girl is good, her makeup/getup was bad. So they agreed to meet again, and this time she took charge of herself. And he was smitten.

Rest is history. I have not seen a couple with more love and understanding for each other.

by tapori Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:04 pm

ours is arranged marriage scenario. In our first meeting we can not look at each other properly, I was able to have glimps of her face, yes it was beautiful face. but when she turned back and i saw her long hair I decided yes this is the girl.

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:07 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:i was 28. she was 20/21. she appeared for her BA finals after marriage.

we cannot doctor the gene pool. my wife's grandfather is one of my role models, yes, but my wife inherited the dumbness genes passed down by her grandmother (whom i met only after marriage). and boy was she dumbbbbbbb.

Genes have a way of showing up somewhere. My ishara was more towards your boys...now don't go out and take all the credit yourself for them.

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:10 pm

doofus_maximus wrote:She still criticizes that shirt I wore at the first meeting.

ha ha. my marriage was a big event in my wife's house 'cos they were (are) a rich joint family and my wife's was the first marriage in her generation (in fact one of her cousin sister who was the eldest in her generation had been kept-back 'cos her father had wanted a service-class guy. she is now somewhere in texas). anyway, i was nicely, privately dissected by all my salis after the alliance had fructified. and on of their pet peeves/joke was that in the alliance photo that my father had sent to them, the shoelaces of one of my shoes was untied. darn, i never noticed that.

Now it is almost 8 years..wow time flew.

ha ha. it has been 18 years since but seems like yesterday. or maybe day before yesterday.

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:12 pm

tapori wrote:ours is arranged marriage scenario. In our first meeting we can not look at each other properly, I was able to have glimps of her face, yes it was beautiful face. but when she turned back and i saw her long hair I decided yes this is the girl.

Yep, this is the kinda answer I was looking for. Specific and to the point. Arranged marriage stories are so much more cuter than love stories, in so many ways.

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:12 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:Genes have a way of showing up somewhere. My ishara was more towards your boys...now don't go out and take all the credit yourself for them.

lol. i confess i might be wrong. bapu said it is easy to err but tough to accept that you are wrong. well, i'm not wrong but i might be wrong. baby steps.

by Rekz Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:13 pm

charvaka & propagandhi711 fill up this space now Smile

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:13 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:Yep, this is the kinda answer I was looking for. Specific and to the point. Arranged marriage stories are so much more cuter than love stories, in so many ways.

agreed 100%. in fact wee to had an encounter in hotel hindusthan, calcutta but i'll save that for another time.

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:14 pm

doofus_maximus wrote:Me too was on the same boat as HK. My wife was too.

But my will was broken when I met my wife. Jaw dropped and I said I have to do something. Approached and talked to her hesitantly. We hit it off at our first meeting itself and never looked back. I still remember what she was wearing that day. She still criticizes that shirt I wore at the first meeting.

We kinda dated for a year and fortunately wife said yes to the knot.

Now it is almost 8 years..wow time flew.

Where did you meet her?

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:15 pm

this is the fastest moving thread in forumotion. was it started by tw? every time i wanted to post i got the "a new message has been posted..." warning.

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:15 pm

and again lol.

by The Absolute Zero Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:20 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:TAZ, that was sweet.

To this day I can even recall what dresses she wore regularly. She was middle class with a new dress once in a while. In purple or saffron she was dazzling. She had one blue dress without dupatta and she discontinued it after an year or so (too much exposure she thought, methinks). Very homely person, Brahmin and pretty orthodox. I was in late 20s and she was in early-middle 20s. Seeing her manners I always thought how her mom controlled her so good in a big city :-) Definitely would have asked that if I ever met her mom BTW (and got slapped probably). LOL

Never went beyond the Daftar Gam. Me always a good mannered and cool dood you know. Laughing

Love means I wished her to be happy. When she did not give a damn to me, I thought waukay, so be it. But I always pray that she is happy wherever she is. Could be by now in any country and in a big job like GM if she is still in desh.

Do not tell anyone but if I ever meet her again (quite unlikely) I will deinitely open my mouth (or just let go and won't even look at her because those eyes will haunt me again)

by charvaka Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:20 pm

My story begins with a job interview. That morning, I was cursing myself that I had given into the HR girl's entreaties to do an interview at 9 am. That meant waking up earlier than usual, shaving in a hurry, and a more presentable outfit than my regular jeans-t-shirt-chappals. She impressed me a lot -- not just because of her looks. She had correctly answered most my smartass, gotcha questions about programming in the C language. She went on to the next few rounds of interviews, and got an offer the same day. Two days after interviewing her, I was off to Japan for a four month project.

Fast forward six months, I am in the Path station at Hoboken on my way to my client's midtown Manhattan office, about to go through a turnstile. I see a desi girl who's put her ticket in, and is waiting for the turnstile to move forward automatically, instead of pushing it. I recognized her, and helped her out telling that not everything in America happens automatically. (Yeah, I was a bit of a smartass.) Long story short, turns out she had just arrived, and we were both living at company flats in the same apartment block.

We spent evenings hanging out in a group of colleagues, and discovered that we had a lot of common interests. One day we were all doing dinner in her apartment, and I noticed a print-out of The Hindu cryptic crossword half filled out. She was cooking, so I solved the rest of it. Over the next few days, we started spending more time with each other. Stayed up all night talking, and did that for days on end. Waited up all night for the first snowstorm of the season, which was the first time either of us saw snow. Long story short, we were seeing each other before both of us finished our projects and moved back to Hyderabad.

All that was eleven years ago. I still do remember what she was wearing to her interview, and she still claims that I had a little bit of shaving foam under my ear (which is just plain impossible, given that I had showered after shaving.)

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:21 pm

The Absolute Zero wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:TAZ, that was sweet. How about your wife? What was it that made you decide you wanted to marry her?

Oh that? D.A.D.T (Do not ask do not tell)

oh come on... talking so much about something that meant nothing, and nothing about something that's everything. Not fair at all.

by The Absolute Zero Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:23 pm

nutmeg wrote: you are married to HA?!!!

Hell!! And thank God. No.

by tapori Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:23 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
tapori wrote:ours is arranged marriage scenario. In our first meeting we can not look at each other properly, I was able to have glimps of her face, yes it was beautiful face. but when she turned back and i saw her long hair I decided yes this is the girl.

Yep, this is the kinda answer I was looking for. Specific and to the point. Arranged marriage stories are so much more cuter than love stories, in so many ways.

I insisted her to finish her Bharatnatyam ( as I have this liking for girls doing BN with long hair) but somehow she lost interest, but she is making sure that our daughter reaches up to Arngteram, she wants to see in our daughter what she can not finish. with god grace daughter has decided no matter what she will reach atleast up to Argetram stage.

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:25 pm

charvaka wrote:My story begins with a job interview. That morning, I was cursing myself that I had given into the HR girl's entreaties to do an interview at 9 am. That meant waking up earlier than usual, shaving in a hurry, and a more presentable outfit than my regular jeans-t-shirt-chappals. She impressed me a lot -- not just because of her looks. She had correctly answered most my smartass, gotcha questions about programming in the C language. She went on to the next few rounds of interviews, and got an offer the same day. Two days after interviewing her, I was off to Japan for a four month project.

Fast forward six months, I am in the Path station at Hoboken on my way to my client's midtown Manhattan office, about to go through a turnstile. I see a desi girl who's put her ticket in, and is waiting for the turnstile to move forward automatically, instead of pushing it. I recognized her, and helped her out telling that not everything in America happens automatically. (Yeah, I was a bit of a smartass.) Long story short, turns out she had just arrived, and we were both living at company flats in the same apartment block.

We spent evenings hanging out in a group of colleagues, and discovered that we had a lot of common interests. One day we were all doing dinner in her apartment, and I noticed a print-out of The Hindu cryptic crossword half filled out. She was cooking, so I solved the rest of it. Over the next few days, we started spending more time with each other. Stayed up all night talking, and did that for days on end. Waited up all night for the first snowstorm of the season, which was the first time either of us saw snow. Long story short, we were seeing each other before both of us finished our projects and moved back to Hyderabad.

All that was eleven years ago. I still do remember what she was wearing to her interview, and she still claims that I had a little bit of shaving foam under my ear (which is just plain impossible, given that I had showered after shaving.)

sweet. editing: how come she was in hyderabad?

by The Absolute Zero Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:26 pm

charvaka wrote: I had a little bit of shaving foam under my ear (which is just plain impossible, given that I had showered after shaving.)

This is how you take shower? Huh? Evil or Very Mad

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:27 pm

tapori wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:
tapori wrote:ours is arranged marriage scenario. In our first meeting we can not look at each other properly, I was able to have glimps of her face, yes it was beautiful face. but when she turned back and i saw her long hair I decided yes this is the girl.

Yep, this is the kinda answer I was looking for. Specific and to the point. Arranged marriage stories are so much more cuter than love stories, in so many ways.

I insisted her to finish her Bharatnatyam ( as I have this liking for girls doing BN with long hair) but somehow she lost interest, but she is making sure that our daughter reaches up to Arngteram, she wants to see in our daughter what she can not finish. with god grace daughter has decided no matter what she will reach atleast up to Argetram stage.

cool.. i always thought you were ni.

by Propagandhi711 Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:28 pm

tracy, please take deep breathes.

by doofus_maximus Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:30 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
doofus_maximus wrote:Me too was on the same boat as HK. My wife was too.

But my will was broken when I met my wife. Jaw dropped and I said I have to do something. Approached and talked to her hesitantly. We hit it off at our first meeting itself and never looked back. I still remember what she was wearing that day. She still criticizes that shirt I wore at the first meeting.

We kinda dated for a year and fortunately wife said yes to the knot.

Now it is almost 8 years..wow time flew.

Where did you meet her?

some kind of diwali party at our friend's house.

by tapori Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:31 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
tapori wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:
tapori wrote:ours is arranged marriage scenario. In our first meeting we can not look at each other properly, I was able to have glimps of her face, yes it was beautiful face. but when she turned back and i saw her long hair I decided yes this is the girl.

Yep, this is the kinda answer I was looking for. Specific and to the point. Arranged marriage stories are so much more cuter than love stories, in so many ways.

I insisted her to finish her Bharatnatyam ( as I have this liking for girls doing BN with long hair) but somehow she lost interest, but she is making sure that our daughter reaches up to Arngteram, she wants to see in our daughter what she can not finish. with god grace daughter has decided no matter what she will reach atleast up to Argetram stage.

cool.. i always thought you were ni.

I am not SI either, I thought BN is for all indians not only SIs.

by charvaka Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:31 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:sweet. editing: how come she was in hyderabad?

Dad has a transferable job that brought them to Hyderabad a few years before.

by charvaka Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:32 pm

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:this is the fastest moving thread in forumotion. was it started by tw? every time i wanted to post i got the "a new message has been posted..." warning.

Man, this thread is moving fast. Same here.

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:33 pm

Propagandhi711 wrote:tracy, please take deep breathes.

LOL.. well I am off in some time for a couple of hours...but I might post from my iPhone.

by doofus_maximus Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:34 pm

Propagandhi711 wrote:tracy, please take deep breathes.

whatt... breathing is so OVER RATED anyways..

by Rekz Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:36 pm

The Absolute Zero wrote:
charvaka wrote: I had a little bit of shaving foam under my ear (which is just plain impossible, given that I had showered after shaving.)

This is how you take shower? Huh?

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:45 pm

charvaka wrote: I had a little bit of shaving foam under my ear (which is just plain impossible, given that I had showered after shaving.)

reminds me... when K had asked me out the first time, i had refused... he would then say, 'think it over, I will ask in 2 days again'... to which I would say no again.... this went on for about 8 days... then one day i said we would talk on the topmost floor of my friend's building, the floor was vacant.

So we sat there and talked. He tried to tell me we are so good together. I said I am not ready to be with anyone yet. (I had just broken up with my b/f). I think I even began crying and all with all the melodrama. So finally he agreed (in the sense that he didn't bug me through the summer vacation). But anyway, he banged his fist on the stairs when we got up, at which I got scared. Then we got into the 'lift' and he banged his fist on the mirror there, leaving a big crack on it. This time I got really scared.

To this day he insists he didn't hit and break that mirror. Even as my friend recounts the halla the building people had made about it, and she had kept quiet on whodunit. And I had to see that broken mirror for about a week before they replaced it (ah that beautiful age of little miseries). But K still insists he didn't do it coz he doesn't remember.

by Kris Thu Jun 30, 2011 12:53 pm

trick question: which one?

by Guest Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:00 pm

Kris wrote:trick question: which one?

anyone and everyone Smile

by charvaka Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:03 pm

Kris wrote:trick question: which one?

"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."

PS: Note to CHers... please do not speculate about my motives for quoting someone else instead of using my own words.

by Propagandhi711 Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:04 pm

that's a fine quote. thank you for using it in a non pretentious manner.

by Propagandhi711 Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:10 pm

very old quotes are cool. if said in current context, it sounds rather dumb but in historical context, it sounds profound somehow, like voice of the god. it's the middleages and latter quotes that vex me - voltaire, napolean, assorted WW2 heros, english gasbag statesmen, reagan etc

by garam_kuta Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:13 pm

Propagandhi711 wrote:that's a fine quote. thank you for using it in a non pretentious manner.

go ahead... borrow a hyphen from unpretentious tambis

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