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Log inMy Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
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My Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
by Guest Wed Sep 09, 2015 11:51 am
Pretty close to how I have felt about it and many more similar things where people judge too quickly about gray areas in life and call someone a monster
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/8085938
People have reacted to the information of "cheaters" being released publicly with a morbidly sadistic glee. But before you post a self-righteous rant about cheaters getting what they deserve, I'd ask you to reconsider. Because it's never as simple as it seems. Everyone on that site has a reason for being there. But you wouldn't know that, because all you see is someone's name on a list, and you assume that tells you everything you need to know.
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/8085938
People have reacted to the information of "cheaters" being released publicly with a morbidly sadistic glee. But before you post a self-righteous rant about cheaters getting what they deserve, I'd ask you to reconsider. Because it's never as simple as it seems. Everyone on that site has a reason for being there. But you wouldn't know that, because all you see is someone's name on a list, and you assume that tells you everything you need to know.
Guest- Guest
Re: My Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
by garam_kuta Wed Sep 09, 2015 12:21 pm
what's your take on whether men would feel the same about their spouse? i don't know what proportion of the AM members were wives.
garam_kuta- Posts : 3768
Join date : 2011-05-18
Re: My Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
by Guest Wed Sep 09, 2015 1:38 pm
garam_kuta wrote:what's your take on whether men would feel the same about their spouse? i don't know what proportion of the AM members were wives.
Just deleted a big post about cheating couples... guess you were specifically talking about AM and similar sites. My take is... will post later.
Guest- Guest
Re: My Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
by TruthSeeker Wed Sep 09, 2015 10:44 pm
Everyone hates people who are quick to judge esp. with emotions.
Men do have lower EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient vs. IQ), than women - if one were to generalize.
Cheating for men is a "physical" thing vs. Cheating for women being an "emotional" thing - again, if one were to generalize.
We are talking apples vs. oranges, mars vs. venus here.
I am in no mood to judge folks.
All that I can say is - men or women who cheat are epitome of selfishness.
They are messing with their kids the most, if not their spouse.
Civil society has decided that divorce is enough.
IMHO, one found guilty of cheating should be treated as a murderer.
A murderer of their child's future.
random differences between law and morality, which even society or ISIS cannot fulfill.
TS.
Men do have lower EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient vs. IQ), than women - if one were to generalize.
Cheating for men is a "physical" thing vs. Cheating for women being an "emotional" thing - again, if one were to generalize.
We are talking apples vs. oranges, mars vs. venus here.
I am in no mood to judge folks.
All that I can say is - men or women who cheat are epitome of selfishness.
They are messing with their kids the most, if not their spouse.
Civil society has decided that divorce is enough.
IMHO, one found guilty of cheating should be treated as a murderer.
A murderer of their child's future.
random differences between law and morality, which even society or ISIS cannot fulfill.
TS.
TruthSeeker- Posts : 1508
Join date : 2012-08-18
Re: My Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
by seven Wed Sep 09, 2015 10:49 pm
You said you're in no mood to judge n in the very next line you judged. :-|
Why is it selfish? If cheating is making them happy, they will be able to spread that happiness around them with their spouses n kids.
If they are unhappy, they will spread unhappiness around them.
Don't. Judge.
Why is it selfish? If cheating is making them happy, they will be able to spread that happiness around them with their spouses n kids.
If they are unhappy, they will spread unhappiness around them.
Don't. Judge.
seven- Posts : 1559
Join date : 2013-04-13
Re: My Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
by TruthSeeker Wed Sep 09, 2015 10:57 pm
No kid is happy, when one of their parents cheat.
Their childhood is...gone!
It is ironic that such topics are always discussed from husband or wife's perspective, and never from the child's!
Even the courts treat a living, most sensitive child as some kind of commodity to live here or there.
Its BS.
If I were that child, grrrr....its hard to even imagine the mental situation of that child.
And I choose to be in that child's head vs. any of the parent's head, to express my views.
Just celebrated my parents 50th wedding anniversary earlier this year in India, and I am who I am. I cannot even imagine, what I'd be if I were to be born to cheating/divorced parents.
Perhaps, a murderer.
Disturbing, from the child's perspective.
Why would any parent give it to their own child?
I may not judge, but I do imagine! :-)
Their childhood is...gone!
It is ironic that such topics are always discussed from husband or wife's perspective, and never from the child's!
Even the courts treat a living, most sensitive child as some kind of commodity to live here or there.
Its BS.
If I were that child, grrrr....its hard to even imagine the mental situation of that child.
And I choose to be in that child's head vs. any of the parent's head, to express my views.
Just celebrated my parents 50th wedding anniversary earlier this year in India, and I am who I am. I cannot even imagine, what I'd be if I were to be born to cheating/divorced parents.
Perhaps, a murderer.
Disturbing, from the child's perspective.
Why would any parent give it to their own child?
I may not judge, but I do imagine! :-)
TruthSeeker- Posts : 1508
Join date : 2012-08-18
Re: My Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
by seven Wed Sep 09, 2015 11:43 pm
Kids bounce back more easily than we give them credit for. If both parents love the kids, the X-factor will not let them become murderers. They will grow up to be loving n giving human beings.
OTOH if they grow up with parents that hate each other, even if they keep it away from kids, the X-factor will let kids know. They might grow up to become insecure untrusting people.
We can't put people in a rigid saancha (society norms) and expect them to fit. It's made bcz it works for 90% people.
Imagine compassionately. Kids will grow up n understand the choices the parents made.
OTOH if they grow up with parents that hate each other, even if they keep it away from kids, the X-factor will let kids know. They might grow up to become insecure untrusting people.
We can't put people in a rigid saancha (society norms) and expect them to fit. It's made bcz it works for 90% people.
Imagine compassionately. Kids will grow up n understand the choices the parents made.
seven- Posts : 1559
Join date : 2013-04-13
Re: My Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Wed Sep 09, 2015 11:47 pm
seven wrote:Kids bounce back more easily than we give them credit for. If both parents love the kids, the X-factor will not let them become murderers. They will grow up to be loving n giving human beings.
OTOH if they grow up with parents that hate each other, even if they keep it away from kids, the X-factor will let kids know. They might grow up to become insecure untrusting people.
We can't people in a rigid saancha (society norms) and expect them to fit. It's made bcz it works for 90% people.
Imagine compassionately. Kids will grow up n understand the choices the parents made.
Let me guess. You dont have kids yet.. Typical statements of people before having kids. I have heard and said the same statements about kids. Now, having seen enough grown up kids from broken homes I am convinced bickering and even non-functional married homes are much better for kids who feel much secure and safer.
Marathadi-Saamiyaar- Posts : 17675
Join date : 2011-04-30
Age : 110
Re: My Husband Was Named in the Ashley Madison Hack
by Kris Thu Sep 10, 2015 12:23 am
>>>Yep, unless the two parents are beating each other up or something. Two parent homes provide a lot of security in general.Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:seven wrote:Kids bounce back more easily than we give them credit for. If both parents love the kids, the X-factor will not let them become murderers. They will grow up to be loving n giving human beings.
OTOH if they grow up with parents that hate each other, even if they keep it away from kids, the X-factor will let kids know. They might grow up to become insecure untrusting people.
We can't people in a rigid saancha (society norms) and expect them to fit. It's made bcz it works for 90% people.
Imagine compassionately. Kids will grow up n understand the choices the parents made.
Let me guess. You dont have kids yet.. Typical statements of people before having kids. I have heard and said the same statements about kids. Now, having seen enough grown up kids from broken homes I am convinced bickering and even non-functional married homes are much better for kids who feel much secure and safer.
Kris- Posts : 5461
Join date : 2011-04-28
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