V Day math for !(!something)

FluteHolder wrote:Good to know you started meditating. 

not(not(something)) wrote:I am sorry TW but I do not find it funny. But you have earned yourself a ten minute lecture by me.

When I joined college, I had this uncontrollable urge to major in philosophy. I did change my major but within a year, I had this revulsion from philosophy and I courted fiction like there was no tomorrow. 

But now I am pondering the same questions. I can see I look mad to those around me. What I do not know is, why am I doing this? How did I make peace with these questions at age 19? Why am I back there again? How did I live all these years? 

And all this has gone on for too long. I have lost the capacity to laugh. Reason does not work on me anymore and I doubt if I have free will (but obviously I do not doubt completely). Sometimes I ponder the ontological.  Is there an entity out there? If there is an entity, I can sense what it is like. It is the most acute form of pain: terrifying, bad ass, perverted and irrational. There isn't a chance in infinity that I can win with a reflection that will incessantly argue with me in paradoxes and say stupid stuff like -- well, how do you know this is acute pain if you can no longer imagine what happiness is? Maybe it *is* happiness and you just insist on calling it pain? I know only one thing -- I wasn't in pain for the billion billion years that I never existed (and I really don't care for happiness). The only thing I cannot do in life is accept there is an entity for more than a few hours because the moment I imagine that the entity exists, I feel like throwing up. 

I am having a momentary lapse of reason, where I am unable to slip back into an imperfect illusion, but I do not think it will last. It will go away for no reason just as it once did . Maybe I will stick to you here for a few weeks -- at least I will have someone to talk to. 

rasāsvāda wrote:


expressed so well... i highly encourage you to keep writing what you think of, even if that means questioning yourself and your pursuit. I guess it keeps clarity, and forces you to keep some rationale, even though you are self-admittedly more into meta stuff right now. And knowing you, you are pretty good with reason; and not scared to dive deep into complicated stuff, which many people shy away from. So eventually it will help enrich your experience.

rasāsvāda wrote:holographic image in the event horizon of this universe...
WHAT??!!!

lol this reminded of me of this song...

You see the whole country of the system is juxtaposition by the hemoglobin in the atmosphere because
you are a sophistical rhetorician intoxicated by the exuberance of your own verbosity.
WHAT??!!!
my name is ... 

not(not(something)) wrote: If there is an entity, I can sense what it is like. It is the most acute form of pain: terrifying, bad ass, perverted and irrational. There isn't a chance in infinity that I can win with a reflection that will incessantly argue with me in paradoxes and say stupid stuff like -- well, how do you know this is acute pain if you can no longer imagine what happiness is? Maybe it *is* happiness and you just insist on calling it pain? I know only one thing -- I wasn't in pain for the billion billion years that I never existed (and I really don't care for happiness). The only thing I cannot do in life is accept there is an entity for more than a few hours because the moment I imagine that the entity exists, I feel like throwing up. 

rasāsvāda wrote:holographic image in the event horizon of this universe...
WHAT??!!!

In Physics it currently manifests as matter, antimatter, or electron, positron, continuously being created and annihilated, or me kissing you and exactly at that moment, your complementary state (that which makes you complete -- surely a man makes you complete? hey are you lesb?) kissing my complementary state, a woman, in the event horizon of this universe. What is event horizon?

rasāsvāda wrote:
I will take the easier question, even though you put a hand on my aching vein (dukhti rag pe haath)... no i am not a lesb, and it's been ages since i kissed a man too *sigh*, not that i am available or anything. I think now I am neither straight nor lesb, i am just a desi aunty, whose romantic life is a thing of distant past... 

I went into a thought process the whole morning how two people just can't be a copy of each other even if they were alike in many ways. That got me into a tangent of thinking that if you love someone who's just like you is that self-love, and if you love someone opposite of you, is that self-loathe?

I think i like people who are opposite of me in some ways (does that mean i hate myself?)

... e.g. i am bad in directions and get lost easily. just y'day i was driving daughter home and got into an interesting topic with her, and missed an exit. Realized it after 10 minutes or so, but luckily i was still driving in the right direction, so I turned the gps on and it was all good, we lost maybe 10 minutes total. The irony is the 'interesting topic' we were discussing was about someone we know who when she gets engrossed in some activity, she just doesn't hear other people (even if they are SCREAMING her name), and daughter was saying, 'but mommy, if this continues, she's so prone to losing her way and that's so dangerous for her', and i was agreeing with her, not realizing that i was doing the exact same thing at that same moment.

I think that's why he doesn't bother to be on time.

rasāsvāda wrote:dude you replied while i was still fixing typos in my post lol..

anyway, looks like you doing good work in Gujarat...

when you look inwards, any chance you will find banwariLOL again?

not(not(something)) wrote:

rasāsvāda wrote:dude you replied while i was still fixing typos in my post lol..

anyway, looks like you doing good work in Gujarat...

when you look inwards, any chance you will find banwariLOL again?

ROFL! You know, the two operations in logic and arithmetic, multiplication and self reference, are actually illegal and illogical, rofl!! This is because you cannot see yourself and seeing yourself is a necessary condition, in logic, to allow self reference. So banwariLOL out of the blue surprises me. What is it that you remember about him? I ask because I can see myself only when you describe what I look like or used to look like (and vice versa). We actually can never know what we are and what we think and what we do until someone tells us this.

rasāsvāda wrote:

not(not(something)) wrote:

rasāsvāda wrote:dude you replied while i was still fixing typos in my post lol..

anyway, looks like you doing good work in Gujarat...

when you look inwards, any chance you will find banwariLOL again?

ROFL! You know, the two operations in logic and arithmetic, multiplication and self reference, are actually illegal and illogical, rofl!! This is because you cannot see yourself and seeing yourself is a necessary condition, in logic, to allow self reference. So banwariLOL out of the blue surprises me. What is it that you remember about him? I ask because I can see myself only when you describe what I look like or used to look like (and vice versa). We actually can never know what we are and what we think and what we do until someone tells us this.

oh just that when you said you don't laugh much these days, i remembered you had changed your handle to HK coz people had nicknamed you banwariLOL