Aging Angst

by gone Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:22 pm

Is anyone else going through this, and what are you doing to reverse it?

1. Sun damage: Oh my God, I am losing my mind. I used to be a sun worshipper in my twenties (Sun Gods, please tan me type), I didn't carry sunblock around with me for years, and now my skin has melasma. My husband keeps telling me I'm over sensitive about a few spots on my face, but it is SO visible to me. I have to put on so much makeup to hide this. I am so envious of dark skin that does not show any sun damage.

I have started slathering on two types of sun block thrice a day every single day, even on a cloudy day. Banana Boat Sport SPF 100 and Neutrogena Baby SPF 60.

2. Wrinkles: Oh my God! So distressing. I used to have this really firm skin and now everything looks stretched out, so many wrinkles, fine lines. Again, DH does not notice any wrinkles but I think he says that only because he doesn't want to say something politically incorrect.

3. Weight loss: I cannot put on weight. I eat healthy and lift, but maybe I should eat some cookies all day and stop lifting.

4. Old face: this is a consequence of 3. People with some fat on their face look young. Mine looks old.

5. Hormones bouncing all over the place: I have too much estrogen, not enough testosterone according to my endo, and he wants me to go easy on the soy and lift more. I was like WHAT!!! I already lift so much. Even DH is sick of me being hormonal so much because he keeps saying I am over emotional and always over reacting to everything.

6. No interest in sex: Related to 5. If men are supposed to have their sexual peak in their late teens to early twenties and women in their mid thirties to early forties, then both DH and I missed the boat. In his early twenties, he was focused on school and had no time for a girlfriend. In my mid-thirties, my body has low testosterone, so low sex drive. Still waiting for that peak, but I think it's decided never to come.

Finally, it's all DH's fault. I lost a lot of my youth since we got here because of the mental anguish I've been through for having to waste precious years of my life in this crappy town.

by Hellsangel Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:26 pm

Trolle Lenae, put up a portrait in your attic like Dorian Gray and all will be well.

by gone Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:37 pm

I want to add that I have tried everything to reverse sun damage from topical creams to IPL laser to chemical peels. Ditto for wrinkles from facials to moisturizers to gentle soapfree cleansers to night repair creams.

by Impedimenta Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:48 pm

OK. i had lunch. i have dark skin, ok, darker skin. but i just had lunch and i am happy.

by gone Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:53 pm

7. Uncontrollable sobbing: So, sometimes I get really emotional and start crying for no real reason (well, I can't think of any reason other than my hormonal cycle). This cocktail of hormones is so unpredictable, I honestly don't know when I'm going to start crying and for what, when I do. This is another reason why DH has told me I'm too overemotional.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:54 pm

mainstreet wrote:Is anyone else going through this, and what are you doing to reverse it?

1. Sun damage: Oh my God, I am losing my mind. I used to be a sun worshipper in my twenties (Sun Gods, please tan me type), I didn't carry sunblock around with me for years, and now my skin has melasma. My husband keeps telling me I'm over sensitive about a few spots on my face, but it is SO visible to me. I have to put on so much makeup to hide this. I am so envious of dark skin that does not show any sun damage.

I have started slathering on two types of sun block thrice a day every single day, even on a cloudy day. Banana Boat Sport SPF 100 and Neutrogena Baby SPF 60.

2. Wrinkles: Oh my God! So distressing. I used to have this really firm skin and now everything looks stretched out, so many wrinkles, fine lines. Again, DH does not notice any wrinkles but I think he says that only because he doesn't want to say something politically incorrect.

3. Weight loss: I cannot put on weight. I eat healthy and lift, but maybe I should eat some cookies all day and stop lifting.

4. Old face: this is a consequence of 3. People with some fat on their face look young. Mine looks old.

5. Hormones bouncing all over the place: I have too much estrogen, not enough testosterone according to my endo, and he wants me to go easy on the soy and lift more. I was like WHAT!!! I already lift so much. Even DH is sick of me being hormonal so much because he keeps saying I am over emotional and always over reacting to everything.

6. No interest in sex: Related to 5. If men are supposed to have their sexual peak in their late teens to early twenties and women in their mid thirties to early forties, then both DH and I missed the boat. In his early twenties, he was focused on school and had no time for a girlfriend. In my mid-thirties, my body has low testosterone, so low sex drive. Still waiting for that peak, but I think it's decided never to come.

Finally, it's all DH's fault. I lost a lot of my youth since we got here because of the mental anguish I've been through for having to waste precious years of my life in this crappy town.

OK

by gone Wed Sep 25, 2013 1:55 pm

I just hate being in this town. That's probably the reason for my general unhappiness and premature aging.

by Seva Lamberdar Wed Sep 25, 2013 2:04 pm

mainstreet wrote:I just hate being in this town. That's probably the reason for my general unhappiness and premature aging.

what town?

by gone Wed Sep 25, 2013 3:26 pm

What town? Are you kidding me!?

by Seva Lamberdar Wed Sep 25, 2013 4:23 pm

mainstreet wrote:What town? Are you kidding me!?

okay, which town?

by FluteHolder Wed Sep 25, 2013 4:53 pm

by Bittu Wed Sep 25, 2013 5:28 pm

mainstreet wrote:
6. No interest in sex: Related to 5. If men are supposed to have their sexual peak in their late teens to early twenties and women in their mid thirties to early forties, then both DH and I missed the boat. In his early twenties, he was focused on school and had no time for a girlfriend. In my mid-thirties, my body has low testosterone, so low sex drive. Still waiting for that peak, but I think it's decided never to come.

LAWL pancho LAWL. I knew it. You cunt is broken, mainstreet. I knew it.

by smArtha Wed Sep 25, 2013 5:46 pm

mainstreet wrote:I just hate being in this town. That's probably the reason for my general unhappiness and premature aging.

premature aging?!! FYI, aging is a function of the #of years from birth and not by level of mental maturity :-)

by gone Wed Sep 25, 2013 6:57 pm

Do you even know what pancho means in Spanish? Seriously, what do you even mean by my vagina isn't working. Men think it's something to be ashamed of if their weiner doesn't work or if they don't have a sex drive. It's like they're a failure or something and they don't discuss it with anyone. Not women! Not one bit. In fact, I've talked about this problem with almost everyone in my family and circle of friends. Women LOVE to talk about this! It's great discussing this for hours.

by Bittu Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:21 pm

are you spanish? am I spanish? then I mean, what the pancho?!

"Men think it's something to be ashamed of if their weiner doesn't work or if they don't have a sex drive. "

Understatement of the century. The day I lose my sex drive or can't get it up, I'll take out a huge insurance policy for the chilluns and drive off a cliff. I can't fathom how you carry on with daily life with a broken vag. What happiness can you ever hope to provide your husband with that dried up prune of a punda?! Shameful and pathetic.

by gone Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:34 pm

Not at all. Just because I don't feel the need to have sex all the time doesn't mean I am not able to satisfy my husband. Vaginas don't have to get erect to do their job, ya know?

You'll be surprised to know that my girlfriends and I discuss this and in 75% of the marriages, the woman's drive is much lower than the man's (pregnancy, caring for children, aging parents, career, household chores, everything takes a toll on our energy levels).

Besides, DH isn't some shallow idiot like you. As a physician, he is keenly aware of what staying with someone through sickness and health is all about.

by gone Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:49 pm

Dont't get too cocky either. This month, you could be running 10-minute miles and next month, who knows. Happened to DH's ex-colleague. Dumped his wife for a trophy wife he was having an affair with, and now he has prostate cancer. Guess they won't be having sex ever again. Karma!

by gone Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:50 pm

Dumped his ex-wife for the trophy wife.

by Bittu Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:34 pm

mainstreet wrote:in 75% of the marriages, the woman's drive is much lower than the man's (pregnancy, caring for children, aging parents, career, household chores, everything takes a toll on our energy levels).

lawl pancho lawl x 10. What's your excuse? Why's your cooter broken?! You have NONE of the above issues to deal with. You're just sitting around at home with a broken vag without ANY good reason for it being broken. Wait, are you at least proficient at giving BJs? or does your mouth dry up mid-sucking too? *bwahahahahaha*

by gone Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:43 am

Why do health issues arise? I honestly don't think anyone needs an EXCUSE for cancer, hormonal/thyroid disorders, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis or any of the dozens of autoimmune disorders out there. Unless it's a lifestyle issue like obesity or HIV or heart disease...and sometimes even those have nothing to do with a person's lifestyle but could be genetic, a consequence of an accident, or paralysis.

What an immature jerk! I bet your wife doesn't touch you with a ten-foot long pole, if she can help it. It explains why you're such a pathetic loser horndog hitting on random women on here ALL. THE. TIME.

by gone Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:58 am

Wow! Now, you really make my husband look like a saint compared to a self-absorbed prick like you. How old are you again?

Trust me, everyone goes through some health issue at some point in their life. You will, your wife will, your kids will. It's inevitable. Accidents happen, autoimmune disorders happen, sudden infectious diseases like deadly bacterial infections happen, chronic illnesses that haunt you for decades happen. There's no escaping it...that's why the priest says "in sickness and in health"

by Merlot Daruwala Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:01 am

mainstreet wrote:Wow! Now, you really make my husband look like a saint...

So let's summarize. You are skinny and are beginning to look old and haggard. You are emotionally overwrought and prone to meltdowns without provocation (aka hormonal). You have zero interest in sex. You keep whining about how boring and crappy your life is in your small town and blaming DH for that and for all of the above.

Lady, that fellow doesn't just look like a saint. He IS a saint. Trust me on this.

by Bittu Thu Sep 26, 2013 8:26 am

Merlot Daruwala wrote:
mainstreet wrote:Wow! Now, you really make my husband look like a saint...
So let's summarize. You are skinny and are beginning to look old and haggard. You are emotionally overwrought and prone to meltdowns without provocation (aka hormonal). You have zero interest in sex. You keep whining about how boring and crappy your life is in your small town and blaming DH for that and for all of the above.

Lady, that fellow doesn't just look like a saint. He IS a saint. Trust me on this.

BRILLIANTLY summarized hahahaha

by Propagandhi711 Thu Sep 26, 2013 9:43 am

Add whiny, freeloading bitch to that list. Dollars to donuts hungweilo's already banging a nurse or some such on the side just to put up with you for 4 or 5 hours a day. If he's not looking miserable but happy, you should be worried he's got some plan cooking to get rid of you..one of these days a masked intruder with a silenced .22 will ring the door bell and next thing you'll be featured in nancy grace mysteries...

by gone Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:35 pm

Freeloading? Are you kidding me?

I come into this marriage with $350K in ASSETS (a house fully paid off, 401K, Roth IRA, mutual funds, ETFs), all earned and saved by me, no debt, perfectly organized finances, everything scanned as a backup and the hard copy paperwork neatly organized in hanging file folders. A perfectly good education completely paid for by DD.

He comes with $350K in debt, hadnt filed any federal or state income taxes in years (this almost gave me a heart attack), had done so many rotations in so many states that he couldn't remember when he worked in a particular state. His W2s and 1099s were missing. I had to make him call the IRS to ask how much he made in each year and the entity that paid him in each of these years, then I called each of these entities and asked for them to re-send his W2s and 1099s to me, then I filed his taxes late, got the refunds for him, organized his finances. He didn't even know exactly what his debts were.

I'm still keeping track of his finances every week, I am his practice manager, payroll accountant, tax accountant, financial planner, personal chef, housekeeper, emotional support system, confidante. And I do all of this in a very depressed area that no one wants to come to. If I were to leave, he would be coming home to chaos and his personal and business finances would be chaos.

There was one time when we were engaged, he went home to his apartment and the light and heat had been cut off (it was pitch dark and freezing), so he had to check into a hotel. I keep the lights and heat/air running and the house clean.

Who got the better deal here? Whiny I may be, but freeloading I am not.

by southindian Thu Sep 26, 2013 12:42 pm

...and not real either.

Interesting. Very. But not real.

by Bittu Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:07 pm

mainstreet wrote:Whiny I may be, but freeloading I am not.

I'll agree with that. Whiny broad with a broken vag who is not a freeloader and helps with taxes.

I dunno man...there are some things in life for which there can be no substitute. I mean, if you want air to breathe, you can't say "sorry there's no air to breathe but you are lying on a bed made of gold, floating on water, two nymphets with warm, moist conches by your side, caressing every inch of your body." Doesn't cut it.

by Impedimenta Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:11 pm

mainstreet, why did you marry him? love? i am just curious.

by gone Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:34 pm

Ruggedly handsome with a great smile! What's not to like?

by gone Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:44 pm

Oh and I shopped around plenty whenever we broke up. Seriously, he was better looking than anyone else I dated, BY FAR. Good-looking, so sympathetic and considerate, loved going to social stuff with me, and didn't waste any of my time...talking about long-term and forever right away (clearly, he was afraid I would start dating someone else :-)

by Hellsangel Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:48 pm

Trolle Lena, watching paint dry is getting more interesting than reading your trolls now.

by gone Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:52 pm

Please do yourself a favor and stop reading my "trolls."

by Petrichor Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:51 pm

Only 1 in 3 people are very happy with their lives.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony. m gandhi.

People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. a lincoln.

by churi. Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:59 pm

mainstreet: did you used to be nisha007 (on the old CH)?

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Sep 26, 2013 3:28 pm

churi. wrote:mainstreet: did you used to be nisha007 (on the old CH)?

Hahahaha... she could not have avoided Modi, UPA, Corruption, etc...for this long....but for that it is a distant possibility (she would have been a bit older than Mainstreet by now).

by gone Thu Sep 26, 2013 7:01 pm

Yep, yep, yep. Petrichor, I appreciate the philosophy, I really do. You sound just like my parents. We went over all of that many times.

You don't live in a war zone, you're not in Afghanistan, you have a roof over your head, enough food to eat, a nice husband who is devoted to you, you are among the fortunate 1% of the world, blah, blah, blah.

The heart needs what it needs though. I cannot spend the rest of my life in this isolated, depressed, horribly backward, extremely poor, overly religious, boring place in the middle of nowhere. The thought of wasting more years of my life here is horrible. It may be peaceful but I need people like me around me.

I don't even need to be with DH. I have enough of my own savings, my education and work experience, and my parents will be leaving us kids with plenty too, so why am I even here?

I'm done! I'm having THE TALK with DH and leaving. Goodbye and good luck honey.

by MaxEntropy_Man Thu Sep 26, 2013 7:16 pm

Petrichor wrote:Only 1 in 3 people are very happy with their lives.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony. m gandhi.

People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. a lincoln.

for some people happiness is simply living without annoying, sometimes intense albeit sporadic lower back pain.

by Petrichor Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:43 pm

Rx: coiled serpent

by Guest Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:47 pm

Happiness is having eight hours of uninterrupted deep sleep.

by Petrichor Thu Sep 26, 2013 10:59 pm

Should've been Dx not Rx.

by Guest Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:01 pm

Petrichor wrote:Should've been Dx not Rx.

What's the Tx for both Dx and Rx?

by MaxEntropy_Man Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:13 pm

Petrichor wrote:Rx: coiled serpent

looks like it is some kind of yoga. will find out more. happy to try it if it'll help.

by Petrichor Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:16 pm

main strasse - have you tried yoga? kundalini or otherwise?

by MaxEntropy_Man Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:22 pm

Petrichor wrote:main strasse - have you tried yoga? kundalini or otherwise?

never. meaning to try yoga for a while and never gotten around to it. but you asked mainstreet. the little german i knew is disappearing fast.

by Merlot Daruwala Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:41 pm

kinnera wrote:Happiness is having eight hours of uninterrupted deep sleep.

Yup - esp after a very satisfying dinner and some fine wine.

by churi. Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:44 pm

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
churi. wrote:mainstreet: did you used to be nisha007 (on the old CH)?
Hahahaha... she could not have avoided Modi, UPA, Corruption, etc...for this long....but for that it is a distant possibility (she would have been a bit older than Mainstreet by now).

After reading the rest of the thread, I don't think it's even a distant possibility anymore. Nisha came with some drama, but she would not have made a soap opera of her life on CH + go so far as to share her sex life with the folks here.

by Merlot Daruwala Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:56 pm

I thought I saw Nisha007 in a new, mellower avatar here some time back.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:05 am

churi. wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
churi. wrote:mainstreet: did you used to be nisha007 (on the old CH)?
Hahahaha... she could not have avoided Modi, UPA, Corruption, etc...for this long....but for that it is a distant possibility (she would have been a bit older than Mainstreet by now).
After reading the rest of the thread, I don't think it's even a distant possibility anymore. Nisha came with some drama, but she would not have made a soap opera of her life on CH + go so far as to share her sex life with the folks here.

I agree... I knew her pretty well on chat - including may of her personal matters. She has the same "tone" but she is pretty guarded about her "personal-personal" life.

by bw Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:21 am

Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
churi. wrote:
Marathadi-Saamiyaar wrote:
churi. wrote:mainstreet: did you used to be nisha007 (on the old CH)?
Hahahaha... she could not have avoided Modi, UPA, Corruption, etc...for this long....but for that it is a distant possibility (she would have been a bit older than Mainstreet by now).
After reading the rest of the thread, I don't think it's even a distant possibility anymore. Nisha came with some drama, but she would not have made a soap opera of her life on CH + go so far as to share her sex life with the folks here.
I agree... I knew her pretty well on chat - including may of her personal matters. She has the same "tone" but she is pretty guarded about her "personal-personal" life.

of course. Razz

by gone Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:58 am

Oh, I get eight hours of sleep. So, I guess I'm happy?

Actually, I'm feeling truly happy tonight. No talk required until Sunday night.

Honey, I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I'm taking my SUV. Most of my things were shipped five months ago. You can come join me in a place that's livable. Or not. Either way, let's be friends and keep things amicable please (I know he will, he never carries any ill will toward anyone). Remember payroll and workers comp deadlines or your employees/the state can and will sue you.

Not telling my mom and dad either. I don't need permission from anyone to do what I want at my age. I guess they'll find out come Christmas, but I don't care.

I'm almost there! Hotel reservations made at the Marriott for the first three days, and I'm going to sign a year-long lease within three days of getting there. Starting the job search tomorrow morning too. Work, career, cross fit, yoga, Pilates, sidewalks,, Whole Foods, fresh produce.

I actually want to put on something really stylish and sophisticated with black leggings under a trench coat and knee-high boots and catch a train in cool weather. Spend the first day or two just walking eight hours a day on sidewalks. Start my day with gourmet coffee and a croissant at an independent coffee shop. Brioche and a salad for lunch at an outdoor cafe. Fresh fish and vegetables. Socialize with friends. An evening in a jazz bar. Museums. I want seasons! Snow!!

Even if I don't get a job until January, it's all good. It's better than any trip anywhere in the world because I'm leaving this place forever. Thank goodness!

by Sponsored content