Is it so very difficult for u to be "good"?

by Rekz Sat Jul 30, 2011 2:51 pm

I have been asked this question too many times by my parents,hubby,close pals & sometimes by myself...

and my standard reply would be...born as a scropian was not my fault8) ...

I grew up watching my naive parents being taken for a ride too many times...

Most of our dining table conversations would on how friends/relatives/other are happily hatching eggs on their heads and they are not even realizing it,mostly matter of concern would be on money/property ...

My parents were/are foolishly generous people,it worries me a lot.When i try to caution them, my mom would often say "that the good deeds of parents would benefit the children,we just lose some money but gain lots blessings which will guard you,who are we to decide who is right or wrong".I do realize there is lots of truth in what she says.God is kind and life is good.

But my blood boils when people smoothly walk-in with some fake sob stories and take money from my parents.To makes things worst,my hubby is no different.I try to keep my cool by ignoring their mother teresa acts,but when i see through those people who get away with monetary benefit...I have my cyclops

moments.

This is one of my arrggghhh weekend & my debut rant on CH...Usually at times like this when nobody bothers to see my point of arguement,i get engaged in retail therapy to cool myself,for change this time around got myself a book totally judging by it's cover and title.Let me see if i get my answers through this book titled The difficulty of being good-on the suble art of dharma by Gurcharan Das....never heard of him or read his previous works.Thank u & happy weekend.

by Guest Sat Jul 30, 2011 2:57 pm

Remind your parents and hubby of the Chinese proverb:" If you teach a person how to fish he will have food all his life, if you give him a fish he will have food only for a day."
Self-help is the best help. Hope yo have good luck.

by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Sat Jul 30, 2011 5:03 pm

Rekz wrote:I have been asked this question too many times by my parents,hubby,close pals & sometimes by myself...

My parents were/are foolishly generous people,it worries me a lot.When i try to caution them, my mom would often say "that the good deeds of parents would benefit the children,we just lose some money but gain lots blessings which will guard you,who are we to decide who is right or wrong".I do realize there is lots of truth in what she says.God is kind and life is good.

Did not realize Indians are still this naive. Thot those days were long gone.

Time for you to "take charge" of the family finances from your parents and hubby. Looks like they will be very afraid to call your bluff since they incur the wrath of the God. Tell u r hubby " my way or highway" attitude and take care. companies take over other corporations, why not wife take over hubby ?

by Rekz Sun Jul 31, 2011 8:37 am

All i wish,hope & pray that in the long run they(parents) don't get hurt. As of now things are happening in my vicinity,i interfere and harshly retaliate to these unworthy people.My worry is,what will happen if we are not with them?

When will their responsibilities end? when are they gonna live for themselves? I have ignored their foolish acts for a long time,supported their "goody" deeds.Somehow I don't see an iota of genuinity in these "fake story tellers" who are at present camped in my house. I fiercely hate them.Very sad my people don't get to see my point *sigh*

by Guest Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:02 am

Rekz, you worry too much. Once you have let your parents know that they should be cautious with their money, leave them alone. let them do as they please.

by Guest Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:26 am

as far as your parents are concerned, it's really their money. If they feel good about charity, then that's what it is. You can caution them but high time stop boiling over it.

Now a totally different story when it comes to the husband, coz that's where your kids are involved. Am sure you have talked to him.

Do these people ever return the money? And who are these people? Close relatives? Uppili's next advice or wrath depends on these questions.

by artood2 Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:30 am

Tracy Whitney wrote:as far as your parents are concerned, it's really their money. If they feel good about charity, then that's what it is. You can caution them but high time stop boiling over it.

Not really. In India law requires you to take care of parents (?) and innheritance law provides for direct transfer to offspring unlike usa.

by soul.peaceful Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:35 am

Dear Fekz Aunty,
Quit cooking up stories on an imaginary husband and get married soon, this will solve all worries and your parents would have no way out but to spend all their money on dowry and your wedding.

by artood2 Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:40 am

soul.peaceful wrote:Dear Fekz Aunty,
Quit cooking up stories on an imaginary husband and get married soon, this will solve all worries and your parents would have no way out but to spend all their money on dowry and your wedding.

Dear Saar, dowry is illegal, daughter's have direct share in property now.

by Guest Sun Jul 31, 2011 11:54 am

artood2 wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:as far as your parents are concerned, it's really their money. If they feel good about charity, then that's what it is. You can caution them but high time stop boiling over it.

Not really. In India law requires you to take care of parents (?) and innheritance law provides for direct transfer to offspring unlike usa.

Don't think so. Depends on how the property is declared. If Reks parents have any inherited property, then yes, she may have a right to it. I am forgetting what that clause is.. some Hindu act or something.

But whatever is the parents earned money or property, they can give it all to a stranger if they feel like it. It's only in a no-will situation can she claim on whatever is left.

by artood2 Sun Jul 31, 2011 12:00 pm

Tracy Whitney wrote:
artood2 wrote:
Tracy Whitney wrote:as far as your parents are concerned, it's really their money. If they feel good about charity, then that's what it is. You can caution them but high time stop boiling over it.

Not really. In India law requires you to take care of parents (?) and innheritance law provides for direct transfer to offspring unlike usa.

Don't think so. Depends on how the property is declared. If Reks parents have any inherited property, then yes, she may have a right to it. I am forgetting what that clause is.. some Hindu act or something.

But whatever is the parents earned money or property, they can give it all to a stranger if they feel like it. It's only in a no-will situation can she claim on whatever is left.

I was talking of default options not willed options.

by Rekz Sun Jul 31, 2011 1:18 pm

Close relatives... but they are well off,they don't anytime need our monetary help. They justgot habituated receiving in the name of sibling's "responsibilities". No one needs any charity in my family..they can very well look after themselves...

There is wide difference btw generosity/charity and being a foolish bakara...

Charity will have value if it reaches the right people...the most needful people.Im boiling coz my good beloved people always fall prey to the wrong,already rich vultures.

by Rekz Sun Jul 31, 2011 1:20 pm

soul.peaceful wrote:Dear Fekz Aunty,
Quit cooking up stories on an imaginary husband and get married soon, this will solve all worries and your parents would have no way out but to spend all their money on dowry and your wedding.

Darling soul peaceful,I shall entertain u someother time.

Lekin idea acha hai

by Guest Sun Jul 31, 2011 6:45 pm

I agree with tracy here rekz. If helping others makes ur parents happy then you shud let them do just that and not boil your blood.

Just make sure your husband doesnt blow his 401K to help others and you are good to go.

Besides they are not wrong you know. In long run ( life) its people in general and your family in particular that counts, not money. Dont think of it as charity but kindness.

Being angry and boiling blood doesnt suit you ( and it causes wrinkles) so be proud of your parents and dont ruin their efforts by getting upset over it.

Lets have your usual cheerful self back now b-)

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