Coffeehouse for desis
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

hurt

+3
Propagandhi711
swapna
harharmahadev
7 posters

Go down

hurt Empty hurt

Post by Guest Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:36 am

it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by harharmahadev Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:54 am

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more

harharmahadev

Posts : 1155
Join date : 2011-04-29
Age : 51

http://www.desichatter.com

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Guest Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:57 am

harharmahadev wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more


cool!

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by swapna Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:03 am

harharmahadev wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more

haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.

swapna

Posts : 1951
Join date : 2013-11-27

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by harharmahadev Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:40 am

swapna wrote:
harharmahadev wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more

haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.

The original poem is not a haiku.  Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.

harharmahadev

Posts : 1155
Join date : 2011-04-29
Age : 51

http://www.desichatter.com

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by swapna Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:08 pm

harharmahadev wrote:
swapna wrote:
harharmahadev wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more

haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.

The original poem is not a haiku.  Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.

If haiku is only japanese poetry, how could basanthee's poem "make a nice haiku" by merely reducing the number of syllables, according to your suggestion? wouldn't one need to rewrite it in japanese?

today, a haiku is a poem that conforms to the structure, rhythm, and rules of the japanese haiku, no matter what language it's written in.

correct grammar is important in every kind of writing, but in poetry, one may ignore it temporarily to achieve an objective that's far greater than grammatical correctness. I don't see any such merit in your so-called haiku, which is merely incomprehensible.

swapna

Posts : 1951
Join date : 2013-11-27

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by harharmahadev Thu Feb 19, 2015 2:10 pm

swapna wrote:
harharmahadev wrote:
swapna wrote:
harharmahadev wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more

haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.

The original poem is not a haiku.  Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.

If haiku is only japanese poetry, how could basanthee's poem "make a nice haiku" by merely reducing the number of syllables, according to your suggestion? wouldn't one need to rewrite it in japanese?

today, a haiku is a poem that conforms to the structure, rhythm, and rules of the japanese haiku, no matter what language it's written in.

correct grammar is important in every kind of writing, but in poetry, one may ignore it temporarily to achieve an objective that's far greater than grammatical correctness. I don't see any such merit in your so-called haiku, which is merely incomprehensible.

If under fifteen syllables
It is haiku
Otherwise it poem

harharmahadev

Posts : 1155
Join date : 2011-04-29
Age : 51

http://www.desichatter.com

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Propagandhi711 Thu Feb 19, 2015 2:51 pm

swapna wrote:
harharmahadev wrote:
swapna wrote:
harharmahadev wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more

haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.

The original poem is not a haiku.  Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.

If haiku is only japanese poetry, how could basanthee's poem "make a nice haiku" by merely reducing the number of syllables, according to your suggestion? wouldn't one need to rewrite it in japanese?

today, a haiku is a poem that conforms to the structure, rhythm, and rules of the japanese haiku, no matter what language it's written in.

correct grammar is important in every kind of writing, but in poetry, one may ignore it temporarily to achieve an objective that's far greater than grammatical correctness. I don't see any such merit in your so-called haiku, which is merely incomprehensible.


hurt KAIdjvC

Propagandhi711

Posts : 6941
Join date : 2011-04-29

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by TruthSeeker Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:00 pm

Yup. Keep the suspense. She was protecting a spider from being smashed?

TruthSeeker

Posts : 1508
Join date : 2012-08-18

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Guest Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:06 pm

TruthSeeker wrote:Yup. Keep the suspense. She was protecting a spider from being smashed?

haha good one

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Kris Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:16 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it.  Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it.  I solved it.

Kris

Posts : 5461
Join date : 2011-04-28

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Guest Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:25 pm

Kris wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it.  Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it.  I solved it.

i mean... lol!

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Guest Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:31 pm

Kris wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it.  Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it.  I solved it.
My theory is complete opposite to yours.

Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Guest Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:37 pm

Kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it.  Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it.  I solved it.
My theory is complete opposite to yours.

Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.

haha good one...

i r'ber CB used to say how people never explain their poems, as it's much more interesting to see people's interpretations.

However, in this case, I wrote this poem from a man's perspective...

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Guest Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:48 pm

Beatrix Kiddo wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it.  Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it.  I solved it.
My theory is complete opposite to yours.

Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.

haha good one...

i r'ber CB used to say how people never explain their poems, as it's much more interesting to see people's interpretations.

However, in this case, I wrote this poem from a man's perspective...
ok...will turn it around.

Ramesh uncle was trying to protect poor Madhur aunty from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions he formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, he finds out what a jerkini Madhu aunty is, and then that hurts him more.

tongue

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Kris Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:50 pm

Kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it.  Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it.  I solved it.
My theory is complete opposite to yours.

Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.
>>>The fallout with Ramesh came later for Madhur aunty. Here is how it unfolded. Ramesh was sending notes to our favorite narrator, which at first blush seemed like stalking. Madhur aunty reflexively became protective, but she came to realize the protectee was no babe in the woods and had caused a few heartbreaks in her time, leaving behind broken men in her wake who still prayed for her well-being. Ramesh was just one among the victims. Mad Aunty then began to sympathize with Ramesh and in in due course that turned to affection and indeed love. Ramesh did not reciprocate and one day Mad Aunty hacked into his email and found a stack of sent mails ('you are looking nice, bk' , 'the woman who tried to run you off the road was quite misguided', ' your friends on CH are god's gift to mankind' etc). Mad Aunty was heartbroken and ceased all communication with him.

Kris

Posts : 5461
Join date : 2011-04-28

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Guest Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:53 pm

uff lol

lolx10 @ your friends on CH are god's gift to mankind

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Guest Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:53 pm

Kris wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it.  Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it.  I solved it.
My theory is complete opposite to yours.

Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.
>>>The fallout with Ramesh came later for Madhur aunty. Here is how it unfolded. Ramesh was sending notes to our favorite narrator, which at first blush seemed like stalking. Madhur aunty reflexively became protective, but she came to realize the protectee was no babe in the woods and had caused a few heartbreaks in her time, leaving behind broken men in her wake who still prayed for her well-being. Ramesh was just one among the victims. Mad Aunty then began to sympathize with Ramesh and in in due course that turned to affection and indeed love. Ramesh did not reciprocate and one day Mad Aunty hacked into his email and found a stack of sent mails ('you are looking nice, bk' , 'the woman who tried to run you off the road was quite misguided', ' your friends on CH are god's gift to mankind' etc). Mad Aunty was heartbroken and ceased all communication with him.
LOL! Good one, Kris. You are more creative than I imagined. Razz

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Kris Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:15 pm

Kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
Kris wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it.  Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it.  I solved it.
My theory is complete opposite to yours.

Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.
>>>The fallout with Ramesh came later for Madhur aunty. Here is how it unfolded. Ramesh was sending notes to our favorite narrator, which at first blush seemed like stalking. Madhur aunty reflexively became protective, but she came to realize the protectee was no babe in the woods and had caused a few heartbreaks in her time, leaving behind broken men in her wake who still prayed for her well-being. Ramesh was just one among the victims. Mad Aunty then began to sympathize with Ramesh and in in due course that turned to affection and indeed love. Ramesh did not reciprocate and one day Mad Aunty hacked into his email and found a stack of sent mails ('you are looking nice, bk' , 'the woman who tried to run you off the road was quite misguided', ' your friends on CH are god's gift to mankind' etc). Mad Aunty was heartbroken and ceased all communication with him.
LOL! Good one, Kris. You are more creative than I imagined. Razz
>>>Thanks...... I think! Smile

Kris

Posts : 5461
Join date : 2011-04-28

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:51 pm

Kris wrote:
Kinnera wrote:
LOL! Good one, Kris. You are more creative than I imagined. Razz
>>>Thanks...... I think! Smile

congratulations...

Marathadi-Saamiyaar

Posts : 17675
Join date : 2011-04-30
Age : 110

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Merlot Daruwala Fri Feb 20, 2015 12:33 am

harharmahadev wrote:
swapna wrote:
harharmahadev wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more

haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.

The original poem is not a haiku.  Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.

You also changed the meaning. The greater hurt in her original was from knowing who she was protecting, not from protecting who she knew.
Merlot Daruwala
Merlot Daruwala

Posts : 5005
Join date : 2011-04-29

Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Guest Fri Feb 20, 2015 7:47 am

Merlot Daruwala wrote:
harharmahadev wrote:
swapna wrote:
harharmahadev wrote:
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting

If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more

haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.

The original poem is not a haiku.  Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.

You also changed the meaning. The greater hurt in her original was from knowing who she was protecting, not from protecting who she knew.

A little modification will work I think without compromising the syllables.

It hurt when she fought him
to protect who he hates
that hurt more

Guest
Guest


Back to top Go down

hurt Empty Re: hurt

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum