hurt
+3
Propagandhi711
swapna
harharmahadev
7 posters
Page 1 of 1
Re: hurt
Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more
Re: hurt
harharmahadev wrote:Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more
cool!
Guest- Guest
Re: hurt
harharmahadev wrote:Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more
haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.
swapna- Posts : 1951
Join date : 2013-11-27
Re: hurt
swapna wrote:harharmahadev wrote:Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more
haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.
The original poem is not a haiku. Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.
Re: hurt
harharmahadev wrote:swapna wrote:harharmahadev wrote:Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more
haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.
The original poem is not a haiku. Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.
If haiku is only japanese poetry, how could basanthee's poem "make a nice haiku" by merely reducing the number of syllables, according to your suggestion? wouldn't one need to rewrite it in japanese?
today, a haiku is a poem that conforms to the structure, rhythm, and rules of the japanese haiku, no matter what language it's written in.
correct grammar is important in every kind of writing, but in poetry, one may ignore it temporarily to achieve an objective that's far greater than grammatical correctness. I don't see any such merit in your so-called haiku, which is merely incomprehensible.
swapna- Posts : 1951
Join date : 2013-11-27
Re: hurt
swapna wrote:harharmahadev wrote:swapna wrote:harharmahadev wrote:Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more
haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.
The original poem is not a haiku. Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.
If haiku is only japanese poetry, how could basanthee's poem "make a nice haiku" by merely reducing the number of syllables, according to your suggestion? wouldn't one need to rewrite it in japanese?
today, a haiku is a poem that conforms to the structure, rhythm, and rules of the japanese haiku, no matter what language it's written in.
correct grammar is important in every kind of writing, but in poetry, one may ignore it temporarily to achieve an objective that's far greater than grammatical correctness. I don't see any such merit in your so-called haiku, which is merely incomprehensible.
If under fifteen syllables
It is haiku
Otherwise it poem
Re: hurt
swapna wrote:harharmahadev wrote:swapna wrote:harharmahadev wrote:Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more
haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.
The original poem is not a haiku. Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.
If haiku is only japanese poetry, how could basanthee's poem "make a nice haiku" by merely reducing the number of syllables, according to your suggestion? wouldn't one need to rewrite it in japanese?
today, a haiku is a poem that conforms to the structure, rhythm, and rules of the japanese haiku, no matter what language it's written in.
correct grammar is important in every kind of writing, but in poetry, one may ignore it temporarily to achieve an objective that's far greater than grammatical correctness. I don't see any such merit in your so-called haiku, which is merely incomprehensible.
Propagandhi711- Posts : 6941
Join date : 2011-04-29
Re: hurt
Yup. Keep the suspense. She was protecting a spider from being smashed?
TruthSeeker- Posts : 1508
Join date : 2012-08-18
Re: hurt
TruthSeeker wrote:Yup. Keep the suspense. She was protecting a spider from being smashed?
haha good one
Guest- Guest
Re: hurt
>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it. Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it. I solved it.Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
Kris- Posts : 5461
Join date : 2011-04-28
Re: hurt
Kris wrote:>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it. Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it. I solved it.Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
i mean...
Guest- Guest
Re: hurt
My theory is complete opposite to yours.Kris wrote:>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it. Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it. I solved it.Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.
Guest- Guest
Re: hurt
Kinnera wrote:My theory is complete opposite to yours.Kris wrote:>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it. Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it. I solved it.Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.
haha good one...
i r'ber CB used to say how people never explain their poems, as it's much more interesting to see people's interpretations.
However, in this case, I wrote this poem from a man's perspective...
Guest- Guest
Re: hurt
ok...will turn it around.Beatrix Kiddo wrote:Kinnera wrote:My theory is complete opposite to yours.Kris wrote:>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it. Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it. I solved it.Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.
haha good one...
i r'ber CB used to say how people never explain their poems, as it's much more interesting to see people's interpretations.
However, in this case, I wrote this poem from a man's perspective...
Ramesh uncle was trying to protect poor Madhur aunty from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions he formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, he finds out what a jerkini Madhu aunty is, and then that hurts him more.
Guest- Guest
Re: hurt
>>>The fallout with Ramesh came later for Madhur aunty. Here is how it unfolded. Ramesh was sending notes to our favorite narrator, which at first blush seemed like stalking. Madhur aunty reflexively became protective, but she came to realize the protectee was no babe in the woods and had caused a few heartbreaks in her time, leaving behind broken men in her wake who still prayed for her well-being. Ramesh was just one among the victims. Mad Aunty then began to sympathize with Ramesh and in in due course that turned to affection and indeed love. Ramesh did not reciprocate and one day Mad Aunty hacked into his email and found a stack of sent mails ('you are looking nice, bk' , 'the woman who tried to run you off the road was quite misguided', ' your friends on CH are god's gift to mankind' etc). Mad Aunty was heartbroken and ceased all communication with him.Kinnera wrote:My theory is complete opposite to yours.Kris wrote:>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it. Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it. I solved it.Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.
Kris- Posts : 5461
Join date : 2011-04-28
Re: hurt
LOL! Good one, Kris. You are more creative than I imagined.Kris wrote:>>>The fallout with Ramesh came later for Madhur aunty. Here is how it unfolded. Ramesh was sending notes to our favorite narrator, which at first blush seemed like stalking. Madhur aunty reflexively became protective, but she came to realize the protectee was no babe in the woods and had caused a few heartbreaks in her time, leaving behind broken men in her wake who still prayed for her well-being. Ramesh was just one among the victims. Mad Aunty then began to sympathize with Ramesh and in in due course that turned to affection and indeed love. Ramesh did not reciprocate and one day Mad Aunty hacked into his email and found a stack of sent mails ('you are looking nice, bk' , 'the woman who tried to run you off the road was quite misguided', ' your friends on CH are god's gift to mankind' etc). Mad Aunty was heartbroken and ceased all communication with him.Kinnera wrote:My theory is complete opposite to yours.Kris wrote:>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it. Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it. I solved it.Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.
Guest- Guest
Re: hurt
>>>Thanks...... I think!Kinnera wrote:LOL! Good one, Kris. You are more creative than I imagined.Kris wrote:>>>The fallout with Ramesh came later for Madhur aunty. Here is how it unfolded. Ramesh was sending notes to our favorite narrator, which at first blush seemed like stalking. Madhur aunty reflexively became protective, but she came to realize the protectee was no babe in the woods and had caused a few heartbreaks in her time, leaving behind broken men in her wake who still prayed for her well-being. Ramesh was just one among the victims. Mad Aunty then began to sympathize with Ramesh and in in due course that turned to affection and indeed love. Ramesh did not reciprocate and one day Mad Aunty hacked into his email and found a stack of sent mails ('you are looking nice, bk' , 'the woman who tried to run you off the road was quite misguided', ' your friends on CH are god's gift to mankind' etc). Mad Aunty was heartbroken and ceased all communication with him.Kinnera wrote:My theory is complete opposite to yours.Kris wrote:>>>Was this Madhur aunty? I got it. Madhur aunty was protecting you from Ramesh, but later had second thoughts, after reading posts on this forum. That's it. I solved it.Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
Madhur aunty was trying to protect poor Ramesh from Ms. Kiddo, with all the per-conceived notions she formulated after reading her posts on this forum. But later, she finds out what a jerk Ramesh is, and then that hurts her more.
Kris- Posts : 5461
Join date : 2011-04-28
Re: hurt
Kris wrote:>>>Thanks...... I think!Kinnera wrote:
LOL! Good one, Kris. You are more creative than I imagined.
congratulations...
Marathadi-Saamiyaar- Posts : 17675
Join date : 2011-04-30
Age : 110
Re: hurt
harharmahadev wrote:swapna wrote:harharmahadev wrote:Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more
haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.
The original poem is not a haiku. Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.
You also changed the meaning. The greater hurt in her original was from knowing who she was protecting, not from protecting who she knew.
Merlot Daruwala- Posts : 5005
Join date : 2011-04-29
Re: hurt
Merlot Daruwala wrote:harharmahadev wrote:swapna wrote:harharmahadev wrote:Beatrix Kiddo wrote:it hurt when she fought him
but not as much as knowing
who she was protecting
If you reduced it by a few syllables, it would make a nice haiku.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who she knows
that hurt more
haha!mahadev, basanthee's original poem sounds much better; yours is grammatically incorrect, and sounds contrived.
The original poem is not a haiku. Haiku is Japanese poetry, so it doesn't have to be grammatically correct.
You also changed the meaning. The greater hurt in her original was from knowing who she was protecting, not from protecting who she knew.
A little modification will work I think without compromising the syllables.
It hurt when she fought him
to protect who he hates
that hurt more
Guest- Guest
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» My sentiments are hurt. Who do I sue?
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