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MulaiAzhagi
Propagandhi711
The Absolute Zero
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10 things that won't make you happy
by The Absolute Zero Thu Feb 16, 2012 10:57 am
10 Things You Think Will Make You Happy – But Won't
Known as 'The Happiest Man in the World,' celebrated Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard reveals 10 common paradoxes that keep us from living our best lives.
Avoid the impulses below, says scholar-healer Matthieu Ricard, and you'll be primed for lifelong happiness.
1. Becoming rich, powerful and famous.
2. Treating the universe as if it were a mail-order catalog by expecting it to gratify our every desire.
3. Yearning for the "freedom" to achieve every last wish. This is not freedom, but being the slave of your own thoughts.
4. Seeking too much pleasure. Pleasurable sensations soon become dull, and often become unpleasant.
5. Maliciously taking revenge on someone who has hurt you. By doing so, you become like them and poison your own mind.
6. Assuming that any one thing will make you happy. Such predictions usually don't turn out to be true.
7. Expecting all praise and no criticism. Without criticism, you won't progress.
8. To vanquish all your enemies. Animosity never brings happiness.
9. To never face adversity. Refraining from doing so will make you weak and vulnerable.
10. Expending all your effort on taking care of yourself alone. Altruism and compassion are the roots of genuine happiness.
Editor's Note: Former geneticist Matthieu Ricard is a Buddhist monk, humanitarian and international bestselling author. His new book, Why Meditate: Working with Thoughts and Emotions, was just published by Hay House. Visit him on the web at matthieuricard.org.
(From MSN.COM, 2/16/2012)
Known as 'The Happiest Man in the World,' celebrated Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard reveals 10 common paradoxes that keep us from living our best lives.
Avoid the impulses below, says scholar-healer Matthieu Ricard, and you'll be primed for lifelong happiness.
1. Becoming rich, powerful and famous.
2. Treating the universe as if it were a mail-order catalog by expecting it to gratify our every desire.
3. Yearning for the "freedom" to achieve every last wish. This is not freedom, but being the slave of your own thoughts.
4. Seeking too much pleasure. Pleasurable sensations soon become dull, and often become unpleasant.
5. Maliciously taking revenge on someone who has hurt you. By doing so, you become like them and poison your own mind.
6. Assuming that any one thing will make you happy. Such predictions usually don't turn out to be true.
7. Expecting all praise and no criticism. Without criticism, you won't progress.
8. To vanquish all your enemies. Animosity never brings happiness.
9. To never face adversity. Refraining from doing so will make you weak and vulnerable.
10. Expending all your effort on taking care of yourself alone. Altruism and compassion are the roots of genuine happiness.
Editor's Note: Former geneticist Matthieu Ricard is a Buddhist monk, humanitarian and international bestselling author. His new book, Why Meditate: Working with Thoughts and Emotions, was just published by Hay House. Visit him on the web at matthieuricard.org.
(From MSN.COM, 2/16/2012)
The Absolute Zero- Posts : 655
Join date : 2011-04-29
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Propagandhi711 Thu Feb 16, 2012 11:28 am
things that will make you happy:
1. expensive things sold at below cost, preferably under 100 rupees.
2. no increase in cost over decades and decades.
3. a product that works for 100 years.
4. 50% increase in salary every year.
1. expensive things sold at below cost, preferably under 100 rupees.
2. no increase in cost over decades and decades.
3. a product that works for 100 years.
4. 50% increase in salary every year.
Propagandhi711- Posts : 6941
Join date : 2011-04-29
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by MulaiAzhagi Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:00 pm
It looks like too much money really makes one very unhappy.
1. You have to always be on guard about charlatans who are there to steal your wealth.
2. Most often you are so busy worrying about your business you are not there for your kids. The servants you trust your kids with may be abusing them. You also hear horror stories from India about kids from rich families being kidnapped for ransom.
3. You do not know whether your 'friends' are real or out there to take advantage of you.
4. Too much money destroys love between parents and kids, between siblings, friends etc.
1. You have to always be on guard about charlatans who are there to steal your wealth.
2. Most often you are so busy worrying about your business you are not there for your kids. The servants you trust your kids with may be abusing them. You also hear horror stories from India about kids from rich families being kidnapped for ransom.
3. You do not know whether your 'friends' are real or out there to take advantage of you.
4. Too much money destroys love between parents and kids, between siblings, friends etc.
MulaiAzhagi- Posts : 1254
Join date : 2011-12-20
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Guest Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:17 pm
I was thinking about happiness and pleasures this morning. Was taking son to school, and a song was playing on the radio. I began beating its beats on the steering wheel. Sonny kinda picked up, and began beating with his hands on his backpack. The only 2 minutes in last 24 (maybe 48) hours that I felt joyous.
All my life I underrated pleasures, insisting that happiness is what I seek. I did manage to collect it sometimes, but didn't realize I was holding it in seives. And then there are times when you get engulfed in a long streak of unhappiness. When nothing goes right. Bad news everywhere.
In such phases, when the whole life is going bad...when there is overall unhappy, some little moments of pleasures here and there is what make you keep going. Any small thing, 'a ride down the roller coaster', 'eating or cooking a good meal', 'breaking into a dance', 'singing out loud', 'a few drinks in a good company', 'a well-done work out', 'a road trip', 'a romantic getaway', or even 'hot meaninglss sex'. Anything, any little moment in which you can get lost, look up, and feel....ALIVE.
Pleasures are not overrated at all. You need them to get through tough times, as long as they are healthy pursuits. If you don't even get such moments, how are you supposed to last bad phases.
All my life I underrated pleasures, insisting that happiness is what I seek. I did manage to collect it sometimes, but didn't realize I was holding it in seives. And then there are times when you get engulfed in a long streak of unhappiness. When nothing goes right. Bad news everywhere.
In such phases, when the whole life is going bad...when there is overall unhappy, some little moments of pleasures here and there is what make you keep going. Any small thing, 'a ride down the roller coaster', 'eating or cooking a good meal', 'breaking into a dance', 'singing out loud', 'a few drinks in a good company', 'a well-done work out', 'a road trip', 'a romantic getaway', or even 'hot meaninglss sex'. Anything, any little moment in which you can get lost, look up, and feel....ALIVE.
Pleasures are not overrated at all. You need them to get through tough times, as long as they are healthy pursuits. If you don't even get such moments, how are you supposed to last bad phases.
Guest- Guest
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by chameli Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:32 pm
mulai.
"money makes the mare go " is a popular adage and i am a firm believer in it .
Ask a poor man what he wants most ..and he will say money
ask a rich man what he wants preserved most ..and he will say money
so lets not knock money
what use is it if siblings are extra loving but there's no money to go around ?
I'm all about money ..
I'm all about having money SIr
"money makes the mare go " is a popular adage and i am a firm believer in it .
Ask a poor man what he wants most ..and he will say money
ask a rich man what he wants preserved most ..and he will say money
so lets not knock money
what use is it if siblings are extra loving but there's no money to go around ?
I'm all about money ..
I'm all about having money SIr
chameli- Posts : 1073
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 39
Location : Dallas USA
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Maria S Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:36 pm
Nice to read the views and opinions about happiness!
In my view/observations:
It sounds like a contradiction..but two things contribute a lot:
1) Natural Personality- We have no control over this..some people are naturally happier - by nature than others..no matter how terrible things are/they are feeling- are able to bounce back quickly.
2) Happiness is a Choice- We have a lot of control over this (*unless there are real health issues like Clinical Depression one cannot "will themselves" out of it)...some people seem to make the choice..are determined to just make themselves/feel happy no matter what the external stuff goes on around them- even devastation of the worse kind..does not linger with intensity..feeling happy is after all a "state of mind".
I think people like me..are lucky to little of 1) and we try to also follow 2) "make it a choice"- no matter how bad things can be/are..at times. And obviously everyone has good and bad times and days...well all kinds of bad..with no exceptions.
*As for Money..if managed well/with some perspective..don't see any problem with a great deal of money. However, if it gets to one's head - makes them feel special/important/superior because they are wealthy, never sastisfied, always greedy- will do evil things for it, has no money managing strategy- most importantly people around them who can be trusted..it is misery.
In my view/observations:
It sounds like a contradiction..but two things contribute a lot:
1) Natural Personality- We have no control over this..some people are naturally happier - by nature than others..no matter how terrible things are/they are feeling- are able to bounce back quickly.
2) Happiness is a Choice- We have a lot of control over this (*unless there are real health issues like Clinical Depression one cannot "will themselves" out of it)...some people seem to make the choice..are determined to just make themselves/feel happy no matter what the external stuff goes on around them- even devastation of the worse kind..does not linger with intensity..feeling happy is after all a "state of mind".
I think people like me..are lucky to little of 1) and we try to also follow 2) "make it a choice"- no matter how bad things can be/are..at times. And obviously everyone has good and bad times and days...well all kinds of bad..with no exceptions.
*As for Money..if managed well/with some perspective..don't see any problem with a great deal of money. However, if it gets to one's head - makes them feel special/important/superior because they are wealthy, never sastisfied, always greedy- will do evil things for it, has no money managing strategy- most importantly people around them who can be trusted..it is misery.
Maria S- Posts : 2879
Join date : 2011-12-31
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Maria S Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:51 pm
*Correction- Obviously..people who can't be trusted.
Maria S- Posts : 2879
Join date : 2011-12-31
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by chameli Thu Feb 16, 2012 1:11 pm
maria,
this also means the more ordinary lives we lead the happier we are
but what of entertaining ambitions ?getting away from a humdrum life ?
to seek more. to invent to discover ..all these aspirations come with stress ego and greed
this also means the more ordinary lives we lead the happier we are
but what of entertaining ambitions ?getting away from a humdrum life ?
to seek more. to invent to discover ..all these aspirations come with stress ego and greed
chameli- Posts : 1073
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 39
Location : Dallas USA
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Maria S Thu Feb 16, 2012 1:35 pm
Chameli,
Sure. Simple joys..are often the best!
In my view..part of making oneself feel happy is about a lot of things..certainly, having some ambitions-goals one wants to accomplish, and exhilaration of experiencing new things..are some of them! Have to be self-motivated, self-confident to seek them..however, have to always remember the possibility of failing, willing to walk the path alone and know it's not the end of the world..if it does not work out!
Ability to laugh at oneself, and forgiving oneself for messing up..move on can be helpful too!
Sure. Simple joys..are often the best!
In my view..part of making oneself feel happy is about a lot of things..certainly, having some ambitions-goals one wants to accomplish, and exhilaration of experiencing new things..are some of them! Have to be self-motivated, self-confident to seek them..however, have to always remember the possibility of failing, willing to walk the path alone and know it's not the end of the world..if it does not work out!
Ability to laugh at oneself, and forgiving oneself for messing up..move on can be helpful too!
Maria S- Posts : 2879
Join date : 2011-12-31
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by chameli Thu Feb 16, 2012 1:45 pm
well said Maria ..
A person who can do all of the above is a happy person ..surely
PS I don't see you on su chat ..feel free to come on board
A person who can do all of the above is a happy person ..surely
PS I don't see you on su chat ..feel free to come on board
chameli- Posts : 1073
Join date : 2011-10-07
Age : 39
Location : Dallas USA
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Nila Thu Feb 16, 2012 3:02 pm
1. Becoming rich, powerful and famous.
a. I don’t have any clue about this...pass
2. Treating the universe as if it were a mail-order catalog by expecting it to gratify our every desire.
I treated once and my order was not delivered till date...so stopped giving orders
3. Yearning for the "freedom" to achieve every last wish. This is not freedom, but being the slave of your own thoughts.
Just few years back I got freedom and only last year I stated using freedom...so still a long way to - get the meaning of the above
4. Seeking too much pleasure. Pleasurable sensations soon become dull, and often become unpleasant.
Blah!
5. Maliciously taking revenge on someone who has hurt you. By doing so, you become like them and poison your own mind.
I shouldn’t have hurt my MIL and that was the lesson learnt. I think MIL exists to teach you that lesson. It’s their job and I appreciate my MIL for the job well done!
6. Assuming that any one thing will make you happy. Such predictions usually don't turn out to be true.
I agree having open-minded to opportunities is good rather than sticking to one’s own views and happiness.
7. Expecting all praise and no criticism. Without criticism, you won't progress.
Okay, that is we all have spouses. Even after so many criticisms some people don’t progress.
8. To vanquish all your enemies. Animosity never brings happiness.
Okay,
9. To never face adversity. Refraining from doing so will make you weak and vulnerable.
Faced enough...
10. Expending all your effort on taking care of yourself alone. Altruism and compassion are the roots of genuine happiness.
Well, this is where we have kids. After having two kids the compassion and genuine happiness views changes and not only is it limited to one’s sweet home but unlimited to the infinite world.
a. I don’t have any clue about this...pass
2. Treating the universe as if it were a mail-order catalog by expecting it to gratify our every desire.
I treated once and my order was not delivered till date...so stopped giving orders
3. Yearning for the "freedom" to achieve every last wish. This is not freedom, but being the slave of your own thoughts.
Just few years back I got freedom and only last year I stated using freedom...so still a long way to - get the meaning of the above
4. Seeking too much pleasure. Pleasurable sensations soon become dull, and often become unpleasant.
Blah!
5. Maliciously taking revenge on someone who has hurt you. By doing so, you become like them and poison your own mind.
I shouldn’t have hurt my MIL and that was the lesson learnt. I think MIL exists to teach you that lesson. It’s their job and I appreciate my MIL for the job well done!
6. Assuming that any one thing will make you happy. Such predictions usually don't turn out to be true.
I agree having open-minded to opportunities is good rather than sticking to one’s own views and happiness.
7. Expecting all praise and no criticism. Without criticism, you won't progress.
Okay, that is we all have spouses. Even after so many criticisms some people don’t progress.
8. To vanquish all your enemies. Animosity never brings happiness.
Okay,
9. To never face adversity. Refraining from doing so will make you weak and vulnerable.
Faced enough...
10. Expending all your effort on taking care of yourself alone. Altruism and compassion are the roots of genuine happiness.
Well, this is where we have kids. After having two kids the compassion and genuine happiness views changes and not only is it limited to one’s sweet home but unlimited to the infinite world.
Nila- Posts : 1485
Join date : 2011-05-03
Age : 46
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Guest Thu Feb 16, 2012 3:03 pm
sasthi, how was your interview?
Guest- Guest
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Nila Thu Feb 16, 2012 3:09 pm
It went good...the first half day was one on one inteview with the group and after noon again a group interview and later followed by an in house tech development mini project.
I got an offer buy not the desired position and starting salary point...I am a little disappointed with the position - which makes it similar to what I am currently doing. So - still analyzing. Coz the current one is close to home (10 min). The new one is like 45 min commute (if it's peek...then 70 min max ) and no WFM options with firm timings (no flex here)
Hubby is all against it...let's see.
I got an offer buy not the desired position and starting salary point...I am a little disappointed with the position - which makes it similar to what I am currently doing. So - still analyzing. Coz the current one is close to home (10 min). The new one is like 45 min commute (if it's peek...then 70 min max ) and no WFM options with firm timings (no flex here)
Hubby is all against it...let's see.
Nila- Posts : 1485
Join date : 2011-05-03
Age : 46
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Nila Thu Feb 16, 2012 6:17 pm
Maria S wrote:Chameli,
Sure. Simple joys..are often the best!
In my view..part of making oneself feel happy is about a lot of things..certainly, having some ambitions-goals one wants to accomplish, and exhilaration of experiencing new things..are some of them! Have to be self-motivated, self-confident to seek them..however, have to always remember the possibility of failing, willing to walk the path alone and know it's not the end of the world..if it does not work out!
Ability to laugh at oneself, and forgiving oneself for messing up..move on can be helpful too!
Yep, ability to laugh at oneself and celebrating success and failures with the same zest.
Nila- Posts : 1485
Join date : 2011-05-03
Age : 46
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Nila Thu Feb 16, 2012 6:25 pm
Tracy Whitney wrote:I was thinking about happiness and pleasures this morning. Was taking son to school, and a song was playing on the radio. I began beating its beats on the steering wheel. Sonny kinda picked up, and began beating with his hands on his backpack. The only 2 minutes in last 24 (maybe 48) hours that I felt joyous.
All my life I underrated pleasures, insisting that happiness is what I seek. I did manage to collect it sometimes, but didn't realize I was holding it in seives. And then there are times when you get engulfed in a long streak of unhappiness. When nothing goes right. Bad news everywhere.
In such phases, when the whole life is going bad...when there is overall unhappy, some little moments of pleasures here and there is what make you keep going. Any small thing, 'a ride down the roller coaster', 'eating or cooking a good meal', 'breaking into a dance', 'singing out loud', 'a few drinks in a good company', 'a well-done work out', 'a road trip', 'a romantic getaway', or even 'hot meaninglss sex'. Anything, any little moment in which you can get lost, look up, and feel....ALIVE.
Pleasures are not overrated at all. You need them to get through tough times, as long as they are healthy pursuits. If you don't even get such moments, how are you supposed to last bad phases.
Yep, Life is all about enjoying moments that are perishable. I was telling my dd that I used to go out for a walk with my Dad whenever it rained and we really had a long talk about it. After that she started that tradition with me and whenever it rains we go for a small walk - of course with seperate umbrellas. She carries her tiny umbrella along with her fav plush. Geez...any thing you can always talk to your little ones and they have solutions for everything!
Nila- Posts : 1485
Join date : 2011-05-03
Age : 46
Re: 10 things that won't make you happy
by Marathadi-Saamiyaar Fri Feb 17, 2012 8:27 am
The Absolute Zero wrote:10 Things You Think Will Make You Happy – But Won't
Known as 'The Happiest Man in the World,' celebrated Buddhist monk Matthieu Ricard reveals 10 common paradoxes that keep us from living our best lives.
Avoid the impulses below, says scholar-healer Matthieu Ricard, and you'll be primed for lifelong happiness.
1. Becoming rich, powerful and famous.
........
10. Expending all your effort on taking care of yourself alone. Altruism and compassion are the roots of genuine happiness.
Editor's Note: Former geneticist Matthieu Ricard is a Buddhist monk, humanitarian and international bestselling author. His new book, Why Meditate: Working with Thoughts and Emotions, was just published by Hay House. Visit him on the web at matthieuricard.org.
(From MSN.COM, 2/16/2012)
Man...this is too much work... to follow 10 things to be happy????
Life sucks. Isn't there anything simpler?
(I am still thinking of living in India in a camping tent in a village with a population of under 200.)
P.S. is this Matthiuricard trying to compete with Commander Selvam Sidhar?
Marathadi-Saamiyaar- Posts : 17675
Join date : 2011-04-30
Age : 110
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