Guilty of being a Gulti

First time I heard this word "Gult" was in TamilNadu (the perennial enemy of AP, grrrr). I was introduced to the class on my first day and they asked me where I was from. Innocently, I replied "High-daru-baad". Oh, so you are a gultaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? (the "-aa-" part was not that long, but even today it echoes in my ears, after 9+ years). I turned behind to see if this guy was squint-eyed, and actually refering to somebody else. Nopes. His eyes drilled a 2-ft hole into my face. So, smilingly, trying to defuse the situation, I asked "gultee? what is that". My feebish smile faded. The person responsible for this invention should be awarded Nobel prize. What a creativity? You have the word-Telugu. You hate it right?. So? reverse it. Not "ugluet" (which again shares spelling with aglee i.e. ugly, damn!) but "te-lu-gu" becomes "gu-lu-te". So, Tamil is milta? Gujju is jjuggu?

That was short-lived, as I quickly learnt Tamil and become "machan" there. I never knew my past would haunt me here. In US, the Indian maps that are sold have the AP region marked as "Gult-land". Your online identity is taken over by this slang. Girls stop interacting with you if they know you are a gultee. It is as if I ride a bullock-cart, with stained teeth and torn clothes, swarm of flies around me, smell of cowdung. ayyayyo! grow up. Why this characterization-oo?

Aaj se theek 2 saal pehle, at US consulate:

Consular general: "So what is your name?"
Gult: " Venkata Ramana Gogula Vara Prasad Reddy"
CG: "huh? Where are the others?"

Snippet: Pavan's probability theorem states that if you go to any gult-land and randomly shout "Venkat", there would be atleast 2 people turning back.

Gult community is a close-knit family. They are present in universities, offices, large corporations. They keep a tab on every other Gult. "You know aa? Subbigadu got an offer from Microsoft. Dont tell anybody. He wants it to be a secret." Rinse, lather, repeat. "What ra, I heard you getting married next month? How much dowry huh?". "Mama, I need some info on this babe my parents are trying to set me up with. Do you know any Madhurima at University of Gult-sthan?". I even have plans to set up Gult Inc here. They are like FedEx, but on a small scale and into micro-economics. You want pickles to be sent from Hyd to Norfolk Virginia? No probs. You want 1 kg Pulla Reddy sweets delivered to Wisconsin-Madison? done. [..are your parents or relatives living in India..] Wanna send $400 to Dilsukhnagar (Hyd)? Not ICICI dumbo, Gult Inc. Call 1-800-PAVAN for further details. The airspace between US and AP is shrinking daily. You know why Concorde was built first place? You didnt read it here, okay? Stats show that there are atleast a dozen gults in air every second travelling the Hyd-US route. You know why telecom shares are rising daily? Try calling Hyderabad on a weekend or festive day from US. Sometimes, it is quicker to fly and wish your loved ones there. Every house in Hyd has atleast one (update: just received, it is actually 2) close relative living in US.

PR and contacts are our best asset. Every other Gult has a fat address book and the phonelist is as big as a telephone directory. Getting admitted to a university, getting reference/reco for a job etc. become easier if you are in the Gult-club.

Rule 1: You never speak about Gult club

Rule 2: You never speak about Rule#1

Rule 3: You never blog about Gult-club, especially in a derogatory tone.

Rule 4: You are so screwed today Pavan, it being a Friday evening. Your friends will have a nice time deep-frying you in hot oil.

This has reached new heights. Just like Indian BPO learn American accent, team leaders and project managers here are attending telugu courses. Really, Chandrababu Naidu kee kasam. NJ and Cal (silicon valley) has numerous of our group members running our mission there. The biggest two clubs in US are: TANA and ATA.

http://pavan.wordpress.com/2006/04/07/guilty-of-being-a-gulti/

The women
Gult women are usually considered attractive. And not just to Gult men, although that’s an altogether special kind of romance. Arrey! You have four middle names? I also have four middle names! We were meant to be soulmates! Gush gush, blush blush. Public opinion also indicates that whether it is the more oomphy Sridevi and Jayaprada or the more demure and twinkly Waheeda Rehman, Gult women certainly have what it takes to make the men go sigh baba. (Let’s not get into a parochial argument about where Sridevi is from, pliss.)

And this is not just about movie stars. Heck, even aNTi vouches for the fact that he knows a good number of Gult chamiyas. (A word we are proud to have taught him.) It is an altogether different matter that he claims to be ‘undeservingly single’ which makes one wonder what the deal is. But we’ll be tactful and not ask. Oh wait, I forgot. He is busy watching Kama Sutra with a ‘discerning eye’, so he has no time for them babes. The movie probably appeals to the soft core of the violent volcano that he is. Is it just me, or did that actually sound dirty? Never mind.

But coming back to the point (You didn’t think there was one, did you? Ha!) demure saree-nudging and porn are two different things altogether, and perhaps we Gults are really good at the former, but have suspect skills in the latter? Now, to counter that, you might throw the more in-your-face-sex-appeal Sameera Reddy and Meghna Naidu types at me. (Well dammit, they won’t throw themselves at me, so you’re gonna have to do it!) But those are exceptions to the rule rather than the rule itself. No? Feel free to suggest otherwise with examples.

The men
Ah yes, now we come to my real area of concern. NTR and ANR, Sobhan Babu and Murali Mohan, Chandra Mohan and Mohan Babu, my-dhobi-Mohan and Mohan-the-pan-shop-owner, Venkatesh and Nagarjuna, Balakrishna and Rajendra Prasad, Uday Kiran and Pawan Kalyan. Sure, they are fine specimens of manhood and all. And sure, they’ve worn red pants and yellow shirts, and at least half of them have thrust their hips obscenely. (Which probably led to the creation of the other half. Heh. Bad Megha. Sheesh.) But to lust after them is a rather scary and distasteful thought for both Gult and non-Gult women, methinks. Unless you have a thing for bushy eyebrows. Then you’re all set. No no, we’re not judgemental. Whatever tickles your fancy.

And the one time I had a thing for a Southie hero, it was Karthik and he turned out to be Tam. Tchah. (It was right after watching Mouna Raagam, so cut me some slack please.) Oh by the way, I’ve left Chiru out of this list intentionally, of course. He’s special. Am sure you understand.

Again, it is not just movie stars. Truth be told, there’s very few drop-dead gorgeous Gult men I have met/known/seen in my life. The women who read this blog, please to back me up on this. One time I thought I met a Gult who made my heart go thud-thud, he turned out to have half-Punjabi blood in him. Another time a Gult specimen got me all hubba-hubba, he opened his mouth and said — what is your good name, myaadam, and broke my heart. Yes, it does matter how they speak. Has the Deepak-Malhotra-pallo episode taught us nothing? (If you didn’t get that reference, you need to brush up on your pointless Hindi movie trivia from the early 90s.)

Mind you, I am not saying there aren’t delectable Gult studs. I am just saying I haven’t met them yet. So all of you studmuffin readers of mine, not to go taking offense and all. (The non-studmuffins can take offense, no problemo.) Also, we are very willing to change our mind on this opinion we hold, so if you know people who defy this stereotype, don’t hesitate to introduce and all, okay? And please to not show them this blog post. Thenkewverrymuch.

So my conclusion is this. Gult women — Hot. Coy, but hot. Gult men — Eh. And maybe, the combination is what prevents Gult porn from happening?

http://www.meghalomania.com/2006/03/27/gult-attractiveness-quotient/

Rashmun wrote:

So my conclusion is this. Gult women — Hot. Coy, but hot. Gult men — Eh.

Agree 100% with what she said abt Gult women. Abt men, she hasn't seen
the male folks in my family-some of them are like Greek gods. Literally!


On a serious note...one can't generalize anything about any group. It's sheer stupidity to generalize.

Megha ain't seen nothing yet.

Rashmun wrote:The men... Ah yes, now we come to my real area of concern.

among the indian men i've seen in the u.s., mostly in the last five to ten years, the telugu men are the best-looking. they are not known to be good-looking - they ought to be - because most indians are incapable of seeing beyond skin colour.

Jeremiah Mburuburu wrote:

Rashmun wrote:The men... Ah yes, now we come to my real area of concern.

among the indian men i've seen in the u.s., mostly in the last five to ten years, the telugu men are the best-looking. they are not known to be good-looking - they ought to be - because most indians are incapable of seeing beyond skin colour.

They may not be conventionally good looking, as in chiseled features, but they sure are hot overall in personality. Well, many of them are.

Natalia Romanova wrote:

Jeremiah Mburuburu wrote:

Rashmun wrote:The men... Ah yes, now we come to my real area of concern.

among the indian men i've seen in the u.s., mostly in the last five to ten years, the telugu men are the best-looking. they are not known to be good-looking - they ought to be - because most indians are incapable of seeing beyond skin colour.

They may not be conventionally good looking, as in chiseled features, but they sure are hot overall in personality. Well, many of them are.

i was speaking of facial features and body structure. style, taste, and humour are entirely another set of attributes which i didn't address. my view is nearly the opposite of yours.

Jeremiah Mburuburu wrote:

Natalia Romanova wrote:

Jeremiah Mburuburu wrote:

Rashmun wrote:The men... Ah yes, now we come to my real area of concern.

among the indian men i've seen in the u.s., mostly in the last five to ten years, the telugu men are the best-looking. they are not known to be good-looking - they ought to be - because most indians are incapable of seeing beyond skin colour.

They may not be conventionally good looking, as in chiseled features, but they sure are hot overall in personality. Well, many of them are.

i was speaking of facial features and body structure. style, taste, and humour are entirely another set of attributes which i didn't address. my view is nearly the opposite of yours.

I was also talking about looks only. not style, taste, and humour. between face and the body, it's the body that's hotter. of course, just my opinion.

I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

ahem... ahem.. who might that be.

I have a mancrush on Jagan Reddy. Huhhhhhhrumph.. I take it back. It is more like a man crush on his looted wealth.

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

your list is incomplete. what about adventurous, atheletic, dancer, singer, chef?

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

When did I give you the idea that I was a Telugu?....

I know two "real" Andhra men in this forum (excluding the handsome honorary Andhra Saamiyar!) who are quite good looking as well.

I have to agree with my distinguished online acquaintance's comments- that in general, Andhra men are quite good looking (who are not that different from men from TamilNadu- in regards to appearance)..and not appreciated as they should be, because of their skin color-complexion.

Maria S wrote:I know two "real" Andhra men in this forum (excluding the handsome honorary Andhra Saamiyar!) who are quite good looking as well.

I have to agree with my distinguished acquaintance's comments- that in general, Andhra men are quite good looking (who are not that different from men from TamilNadu- in regards to appearance)..and not appreciated as they should be, because of their skin color-complexion.

LOL @ distinguished acquaintance

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

Did you really have to throw that in? If you hadn't, people might think you were referring to me... now everybody knows it is not me.

I am amused that this "Guilty of being a Gulti" thread has taken a very different turn to "The Awesomeness of being an Andhra Man!"..

btw, telugu ppl come in all hues and shades, from very dark to very fair and everything in between.

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

>>>Guess the cat's out of the bag on my ancestral origins! Darn!

Kris wrote:

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

>>>Guess the cat's out of the bag on my ancestral origins! Darn!

I strongly suspect she's talking about muthukumarr.

Natalia Romanova wrote:

Kris wrote:

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

>>>Guess the cat's out of the bag on my ancestral origins! Darn!

I strongly suspect she's talking about muthukumarr.

>>>>Hmmm- doubtest thou that I could sir muthu? A rose by any other name. Why the new avatar?

new life, new avatar. wanted to break the obssession, if any, of anyone.

Natalia Romanova wrote:new life, new avatar. wanted to break the obssession, if any, of anyone.

>>>>Good to reinvent ourselves Natalie. After all, change is the only thing that is constant.

Kris wrote: After all, change is the only thing that is constant.

yes change and dil deewana songs.

MaxEntropy_Man wrote:

Kris wrote: After all, change is the only thing that is constant.

yes change and dil deewana songs.

>>>>I thought this was one song, not a genre. Dil to pagal hai-- etc etc.. ( this recall is starting to worry me now)

Natalia Romanova wrote:new life, new avatar. wanted to break the obssession, if any, of anyone.

nice. here's a joke for you (hope you haven't seen shaitan):

Q. what do you call a crazy vibrator?

A. dildo pagal hai, dil deewana hai

Natalia Romanova wrote:

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

your list is incomplete. what about adventurous, atheletic, dancer, singer, chef?

athletic - most certainly.

adventurous - absolutely! break every rule, take the road less traveled is his motto.

singing/dancing - quite adept at serenading women and making them dance to his tune. The stories of the trail of broken hearts left by him can make a 1000 different bollywood movies.

chef - can whip up a 5 course meal in no time.

we have a renaissance man in our midst and he is a hot telugu dude - a bit of a philandering rogue alright but a total winner cannot avoid that, I suppose.

blabberwock wrote:

Natalia Romanova wrote:

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

your list is incomplete. what about adventurous, atheletic, dancer, singer, chef?

athletic - most certainly.

adventurous - absolutely! break every rule, take the road less traveled is his motto.

singing/dancing - quite adept at serenading women and making them dance to his tune. The stories of the trail of broken hearts left by him can make a 1000 different bollywood movies.

chef - can whip up a 5 course meal in no time.

we have a renaissance man in our midst and he is a hot telugu dude - a bit of a philandering rogue alright but a total winner cannot avoid that, I suppose.

i am guilty. i confess i am gult. i have done a good job hiding this fact. only a TS and a BW could see through it.

Huzefa Kapasi wrote:

blabberwock wrote:

Natalia Romanova wrote:

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

your list is incomplete. what about adventurous, atheletic, dancer, singer, chef?

athletic - most certainly.

adventurous - absolutely! break every rule, take the road less traveled is his motto.

singing/dancing - quite adept at serenading women and making them dance to his tune. The stories of the trail of broken hearts left by him can make a 1000 different bollywood movies.

chef - can whip up a 5 course meal in no time.

we have a renaissance man in our midst and he is a hot telugu dude - a bit of a philandering rogue alright but a total winner cannot avoid that, I suppose.

i am guilty. i confess i am gult. i have done a good job hiding this fact. only a TS and a BW could see through it.

You didn't have to. The moment Vee Unkil expressed his admiration for Telugu mens' looks, everyone knew who he had in mind. Ergo, you could only be gult. Only, amongst all the attributes BW listed, she forgot to mention the renaissance man's shoulder hair and ear hair which so enamored Vee Unkil.

LOLu LOLu

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

Who? Where? When? How? What?

Natalia Romanova wrote:

Kris wrote:

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

>>>Guess the cat's out of the bag on my ancestral origins! Darn!

I strongly suspect she's talking about muthukumarr.

May not be. Muthu Kumar is a tamil name, not telugu.

ashaNirasha wrote:

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

Who? Where? When? How? What?

learn to recognize a bait.

Also, wasn't this blogger on Sulekha years ago? She sounds familiar.

ashaNirasha wrote:

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

Who? Where? When? How? What?

Look around carefully, you can't miss him! It is The Truth.

On another note, glad to see you back posting.

blabberwock wrote:

ashaNirasha wrote:

blabberwock wrote:I don't know about all telugu men but there definitely exists one very hot telugu man on SUCH - looks, personality, style, taste, humour, face, body, intelligence, sartorial elegance (have I left out anything?).

A total winner!

Who? Where? When? How? What?

Look around carefully, you can't miss him! It is The Truth.

Thanks girls

i hope there is room for truth here: telugu men are dweebs. yuck. puke. i need an anti-emetic.